Forgotten Roses
by Kyizi
Summary: CHRISTMAS EPILOGUE ADDED, because I know you wanted something a little more shippy to end on. The Doctor is being haunted by dreams of a blonde he has never met...or has he? [Ninth Doctor Rose]
1. Prologue

**Forgotten Roses**

**By Kyizi**

**Disclaimer: **The Doctor, Rose, TARDIS, and all related items do not belong to me; to my knowledge, they're some lucky git at the beeb's.

**Rating:** PG (may up later on)

**Pairing:** Ninth Doctor/Rose

**Spoilers:** Lets just say any episodes 9th Doctor/Rose are fair game.

**Notes:** This is one of two plots that have been bugging me for about three days now and I had to write it down the moment it formed in a somewhat coherent form! I originally toyed with the idea of making it a tenth doctor regeneration thing, but I couldn't do it; had to be nine! g Hope you enjoy!

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**Prologue**

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Her face haunts his dreams. At night the only thing he sees is her, but, when day breaks, her features elude him; wispy and intangible, evading his grasp like smoke from the embers of a fire. He could no more find her amongst a group of friends than a sea of planets through all the time in the universe; he cannot find what he has never seen. And yet something tugs at his subconscious, something scraping through a hidden barrier at the back of his mind, yelling at him; screaming to be heard. Something that says, 'You know her…she's yours.'

Sometimes he senses her presence, standing by him; her hand slipping into his and squeezing gently for a moment before fading into nothingness. Pale fragments of taste and touch haunt his waking moments and he longs for sleep; longs to be with her again. He never used to sleep; now he's forever trying to end the days of adventure and discovery just to spend a moment longer with her in his arms. It's never more than that, never more than holding her; smiling at her; stolen glances and pleasant expectations of 'one day'.

She's the ghost inside him that will not rest; that will not let him rest. Everywhere he goes he sees memories of a past he doesn't know; the smell of chips; a cheeky grin; the laughter of a woman he has never met. Without thinking, he looks for her; every blonde on every planet is her until he remembers that she isn't real. Her laughter floats beside him and her tongue nips out to wet lips he never kissed…and in that he knows it's the truth. Even in his dreams he will not submit to his urge to capture those lips with his own, because he needs her permission and how can one ask permission of someone who isn't real?

Tonight she's wearing a Union Jack and, for a moment at least, he feels a surge of jealousy swell inside him. Union Jack. Jack. A name he knows; a man whose path crossed with his not so long ago and he wonders how it is that this man can take away his dreams. But he knows that even if she were real she would never leave him; not forever. She's his and tonight they're dancing.

There's something unromantic about dancing in a basement, but his mind chose the destination and, as long as she's with him, he doesn't care where they are, just that they _are_. Tonight when she looks at him it's almost as if she's giving him the permission he so desires…it's almost as if she is asking for him to be hers as much as she is his. But he does belong to her; he just doesn't know how to tell her.

And she begins to fade. The harder he holds her, the closer he pulls her, the more she drifts away. His mind is waking and he wishes he knew how to stop it. Already she is becoming a stranger; only an essence in his mind that he cannot keep. And as he wakes, somewhere in the distance; light years away…he thinks he hears her screaming.

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**End Prologue**

Well…worth continuing?

bites fingernails anticipating reply…


	2. Shrouded in Enigma

**Forgotten Roses**

**By Kyizi**

**Disclaimer: **The Doctor, Rose, TARDIS, and all related items do not belong to me; to my knowledge, they're some lucky git at the beeb's.

**Rating:** PG (may up later on)

**Pairing:** Ninth Doctor/Rose

**Spoilers:** Lets just say any episodes 9th Doctor/Rose are fair game.

**Notes:** Wow…what a response! I love you all g I'm sorry that this update took so long, but I just moved house, my computer wouldn't log on to the internet, and I suck:p

A note for corrupted-innocent and all those who mentioned this being a pre-series fic…it isn't! Just keep reading and all will become clear… ;)

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**Part One: Shrouded in Enigma**

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He hears something in the distance, a little squeak of a sound that should barely penetrate the furthest edges of his sleep, but it is tugging at him, forcing him to wake. He blinks a moment, waiting for reality to set in and he no longer remembers what it is that he dreams of. Rubbing at his eyes, as if that should dispel any and all vestiges of the dreams that taunt him, he moves off the bed and heads towards the doorway, pausing only briefly to look around.

There are things in this room that he cannot explain; clothes and trinkets that belonged to someone he must have known, but no companion comes to mind when he tries to assign them somewhere. He's not even sure what it was that prompted his change in room, or even his sudden need to have one, but, somehow, lying on the bed in the corner of the room (and only _this_ room) he feels a sense of _home_. And, even if he can't explain it, that's something he wouldn't give up lightly.

He turns and exits the room, taking care to be light on his feet lest he should wake his companion. After making a cup of tea, he makes his way to the TARDIS controls, fiddling with the landing coordinates, something that has become a 'morning' ritual for him. The TARDIS seems weary and lost, but he's not sure why, all he knows is that she's missing something, like an ache in her heart. No, not something…someone, but then he knows that's not right; it can't be.

Sounds echo through her now, sounds that he's sure he has never heard her make before. As though she's calling out for something she's lost, something that has been torn from her. It's not a sound he likes to hear and yet he's never really sure that he hears it anyway. She continues to land in London; the same place, the same time, without explanation. He can't find any problems in her navigational systems and he has often wondered if he's the one getting it wrong; is he the one missing something? Someone?

At that thought he feels sleep tugging at him again. He doesn't want to let it win because he knows what will happen. He feels as though he's losing time and, for a Time Lord, that doesn't happen often…in fact, he's not sure he ever remembers it happening before. When he's fully awake _she_ cannot find him and he doesn't even remember her until a sudden flash of blonde hair brings the dreams rushing back to him for a second. Seconds had never seemed to long before.

_The air is light and he grins at her, knowing that she's up to mischief. It's the way her tongue sneaks out, unbidden, to the one side of her mouth. It's her tell and he knows it, and so does she. The planet is filled with an almost ethereal light, causing shapes to dance in front of his eyes and he scrunches his face a little, trying to focus on only her. He remembers why he brought her here and grabs her hand, slipping it into his as though it were a part of him; he sometimes thinks it is._

_Pulling her away from the vast crowds, he leads them into a smaller alley, the tall buildings creating well needed shade as they begin their trek up the step incline. The street is empty and he turns to face her, her questioning gaze only fuelling his desire to surprise her. The first time he'd tried to show her something spectacular he'd chosen to show her the destruction of her home planet; not a wise choice in hindsight, especially given the almost life threatening ending it had lead to, but this time? This time he was going to make that pretty little mouth of hers drop in awe. It had happened since that first trip, but this time he was showing her something spectacular and he knew she'd love it._

_She was beginning to tug him back a little, trying to slow their pace slightly, but he wasn't about to let up. They were almost there. _

_"Come on," he says encouragingly and she shakes her head at him, but smiles and follows; just as he knows she will._

_When they reach the glass elevator, he makes her close her eyes. The ride up will be spectacular, but he wants her to see this single event from start to finish in the only way it should be seen. She could wow at the scenery later._

_When the lift comes to a halt, he's almost sure she'll love it…but there's always an almost and he no longer cares to wonder why; his need to please her just _is_. Knowing he only has a few minutes, he leads her out onto the platform, not even glancing at the others there to watch; as far as he can see, they are the only two people in the world. He leads her to a secluded viewing spot, well away from the others, and stands directly behind her. _

_"Three…two…one…open your eyes," he says softly, sure that her name should follow, but it doesn't leave his lips. He has no time to wonder at that as her gasp tells him everything he needs to know. She leans back into him and he smiles, allowing his fingertips to graze the slight hint of skin above her jeans._

_"It's a bit like your Northern Lights," he says, still in his hushed tone. "Only this time, the star behind it is going supernova." When she doesn't speak, he pre-empts the question he knows should have been spoken. "I know what you're thinking; I've brought you to another planet to watch it be destroyed, but not this one. These people are well advanced. They're going to ride out the wave and hitch on to the nearest star. It works, too."_

_She turns to face him and smiles. He's still waiting for her to speak, but nothing is forthcoming and he frowns. He knows her; she does nothing but talk and yet she's watching him in silence. Her eyes are the only thing saying anything. She needs his help…but, looking at her, he doesn't know what to do. _

He jumps as the TARDIS lands, not quite sure when it was that he slipped into the dream. For a moment he knows who she is, knows her name despite the fact that she has not spoken to him, but, before the thought is fully formed, she's gone, shrouded in enigma, and he finds himself wondering exactly what it is that he's been thinking about.

"We there yet?" asks a sleepy voice and he turns to grin at her. She rolls her eyes and pulls her hair back into a ponytail. He frowns briefly thinking it should be blonde, not brown. "So long as we're not back in London again. There's only so many times I want to look at those ruddy counsel houses."

"Snob," he says with a grin. "Come on, there's a world waiting to be explored."

"Yeah, yeah, and you can't wait. You and your adventures; sometimes I wonder why I even bother putting up with you."

His grin widens and he spreads his arms, turning in a small circle. "Because I provide the transport."

"You know one of these days I'm going to convince the TARDIS to run away with me and then where would you be?"

"The TARDIS would never leave me, would you girl?" There is a small rumble that he takes as her assent and he raises his eyebrows cockily.

"Stop being so smug," she says, walking towards him.

"Come on, let's explore." He grabs Kit's hand, something telling him that the act should feel familiar, that it should feel right, but it's not…he just isn't sure why.

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**End Part One**

Well? You still liking? Keep hitting that lovely little review button and let me know what you think!


	3. By Any Other Name

**Forgotten Roses**

**By Kyizi**

**Disclaimer: **The Doctor, Rose, TARDIS, and all related items do not belong to me; to my knowledge, they're some lucky git at the beeb's.

**Rating:** PG (may up later on)

**Pairing:** Ninth Doctor/Rose

**Spoilers:** Lets just say any episodes 9th Doctor/Rose are fair game.

**Notes:** For those that asked about Kit, no, she's not a previous companion; she's all mine. For those that commented on the fact that she was a lot like Rose…well, that's kinda the point! ;) You'll see why!

Thanks for the response, keep hitting that review button!

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**Part Two: By Any Other Name**

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The suns have barely begun to light the streets, but already they are bustling with activity. The marketplace is large and decorated with lanterns, rugs, barely lit lamps, and a miscellaneous assortment of spices that add an almost oriental smell to the air. He glances at Kit, who is taking it all in with a wide grin. She's something of the avid explorer herself, he knows, but seeing her in this setting reminds him that the simple things can be an adventure as well. He feels a tug in his heart and a flash of memory assaults him, but he pushes it aside; he's wide awake and his dreams are only a distraction.

"Come on then," she says, looking at him with a glint in her hazel eyes. She tugs his hand and tries to pull him towards a rug stall.

"We don't need anymore _decorations_ for the TARDIS, Kit. You promised."

She rolls her eyes. "There's no harm in looking, Doctor."

"With you, yes, there is."

"Fine. I know, let's go look at the flowers!" Her mock enthusiasm has him groaning. He's going to pay for it in every possible way she can find, but at least his pockets won't be empty by the end of it.

"Why do you want to look at the flowers, Kit? There's a whole world here."

"Yes, and whatever it is you've dragged us here for isn't likely to start for a while yet. I know you, remember, you like to sound all condescending and show me you know all about the culture _before _you start trouble."

"I don't _start_ trouble, thank you very much. Trouble just likes to find me."

She smirks and reaches out to finger some flowers, bringing one to her nose. Her eyes close as she inhales the scent and he smiles at the simplicity of the act. She pulls one of them from the vase, looking at him with puppy dog eyes.

"Buy me a flower?"

"No."

"Please? These are my favourite!"

"I'm not buying you a flower. That's…mushy."

She laughs and punches him lightly on the arm. "I'm not coming on to you, Doctor. Trust me, you're not my type. Yellow roses are for friendship. Besides, they're really pretty."

"Never took you for a flower person."

She shrugs. "I'm not, really, I just always remember my grandma talking about flowers. Roses were her favourite. She was always trying to grow them in the garden, but the suns on Terra2 were too hot for it."

"Roses?" he asks, frowning, "Rose…?"

"Yeah, why?"

He shrugs and shakes his head, grinning at her. "No reason. They're pretty, those."

"Yup, almost like on that planet the TARDIS likes."

"Earth, you mean?" She nods and he frowns. "You humans are so fickle. A couple centuries off your home world and suddenly it's 'just some planet'."

Kit grins widely at him and he can't help but smile when she replies. "Yeah, but it winds you up something rotten."

He rolls his eyes and hands some money over to the flower seller, causing Kit to grin at him. "Aw, aren't you mushy."

"You know, I can just leave you here. I don't need to take you with me."

She laughs. "You'd get too bored on your own, Doctor. I think half the thrill for you is sharing it with someone. Doesn't really matter who."

He wants to correct her; tell her that the person _does_ matter, but he can't. He remembers why he chose Kit to be his companion and he can't say that it was because of who she was, more because she was in trouble than anything else. Losing one's own ship would be hard on any traveller, but to do so on a backwater planet where women are prone to be sold into slavery was not something he could ignore. When he had first seen her he had realised instantly that she was not native; her lack of a third arm and the fact that she wasn't blue had been a dead give away. He had saved her, had fun running from her 'masters', and, in the end, hadn't wanted to get rid of her…there was something almost familiar about her, he just wasn't sure what. She was right, though, he hated to travel alone. What use was seeing the universe if you didn't have anyone to share it with? He had been searching for so long, but he still hadn't figured out what he was searching for. He had hoped Kit would help, and she did, but she wasn't…_it_; she wasn't the phantom woman who haunted his sleeping moments and, lately at least, many of his waking ones.

"So…you planning on explaining why we're here?" she asked, breaking into his thoughts.

"Nope."

"And why not?"

"Where would be the fun in that, eh?"

She laughs and they begin to wander through the streets. The vendors are finished setting up and they have to start avoiding the determined ones. As they approach the end of 'Seller's Lane', the Doctor glances at Kit, who is looking at him expectantly. He grins and pulls her up one of the side streets, breaking into a slow jog as they wind through the washing lines and kid's playing at every corner. The simplistic lifestyle seems to make everyone around them happy and he takes it all in, almost pained to think of what's about to happen…unless he stops it.

"This way," he says, dragging her around a corner and he hears her groan as she realises they're on an incline.

"Okay, I've decided you can drop me off on the next planet," she grumbles and he squeezes her hand slightly. He knows she's only joking, but he still feels the need to be reassured. When she squeezes back, he grins.

"Almost there," he announces gleefully.

A few moments later, they reach what can only be described as a castle. The outer walls, bleached white by the suns, are high and topped with rolls of barbed wire. The only way in seems to be the large, wrought iron gates in the centre, which are heavily guarded and buzzing with electricity. The castle itself is extensive, made of the same stone as the walls and just as white…but the only words he can find to describe it are sinister and oppressive. He wonders how that works; how something so white and lit in broad daylight can looks so sinister, but it looms precariously over them.

"Right," Kit pants, "do you…mind telling me…why we're here?" He opens his mouth to answer, but she cuts him off, "And don't you dare say, 'nope'…or anything with the same meaning."

"They're about to set off a nuclear weapon."

"What?"

"Shh!" He claps a hand over her mouth, glaring at her for her exclamation. "Why don't you just alert the media?" he gripes.

"Sorry, Doctor," she mumbles, although, through his hand, it sounds more like, "Smry, d'cr". He removes his hand and she smiles widely, cheekily, until he rolls his eyes at her. She's forgiven. "Right, so…nuclear weapon? What?"

"The TARDIS picked up a signal coming from the castle. An alien race has made contact with the leaders and decided to play, I guess. They're under the illusion they're buying something that will terraform the desert into a plentiful forest, rich with food and water."

"But it's really nuclear?" The Doctor nods and she shakes her head. "Why would anyone do that?"

"It's a bit of a laugh, isn't it?"

"Excuse me?"

"To rich university students from thriving races, who tend to get bored easily, it is."

"That's sick," Kit says with disgust.

"Says the race that used nuclear weapons on themselves."

"Hey, before I was born, thank you very much."

He shrugs. "Doesn't matter; its human nature."

"Gee, thanks, Doctor," she says, pulling her hand from his. "So nice to know you think so highly of me."

"Look, humans as a whole are stupid little apes; fascinating, but stupid. On their own, however, you can be…amazing."

"Why Doctor, are you flirting with me?"

He rolls his eyes. "Remind me to introduce you to Jack sometime."

"He's the guy that travelled with you before me?"

The Doctor nods. "Briefly. Right, I think I know how we can get it." If Kit was surprised that his attention had been split between the conversation and the gates, she didn't let it show. He pointed to the walls. "I think there's a hidden grate there."

"How do we get to it and please tell me you're not basing this whole plan on 'you think'?"

"Have I ever been wrong?" He grins widely.

"Do you want me to answer that?"

"Cheeky."

"So," she asks as they begin to crawl to the other side of the street. "What's the plan?"

"Ever seen 'The Two Towers'?" She shakes her head once. "Rose made me watch it once, trust me, this'll work."

"Rose?" she asks and he frowns.

"What about it?" He looks at the flower in her hand.

"No, you just said that Rose made you watch something."

"No, I didn't…did I?"

She nods, looking at him unsurely. "Who's Rose?"

He shakes his head slowly and looks at her and he can tell she doesn't like the look in his eyes. "I don't know."

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**End of Part Two**

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Well? Hit the review button and let me know what you thought!


	4. Fragments of Hope

**Forgotten Roses**

**By Kyizi**

**Disclaimer: **The Doctor, Rose, TARDIS, and all related items do not belong to me; to my knowledge, they're some lucky git at the beeb's.

**Rating:** PG (may up later on)

**Pairing:** Ninth Doctor/Rose

**Spoilers:** Let's just say any episodes 9th Doctor/Rose are fair game.

**Notes: **You guys rock! I'm trying to update steadily, but I can't say when the next part will be ready. Soon, I hope!

**Acid Lee:** Good guess, but you'll have to wait and see if you're right or not:p

**Avelynn Tame: **SCORE! I'm just not telling you what part:p Also, glad you like Kit; she's far from a Mary Sue and I'm so glad she's not coming off as one! Thanks for the review!

**To everyone who reviewed:** Thank you very much, I love you all!

Once again, thank you so much for the response, keep hitting that review button!

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**Part Three: Fragments of Hope**

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As the night settles over the planet and the temperature drops considerably, he forces himself to focus on the task ahead. His blood is coursing through his veins as the thrill of the adventure begins to take hold, but he cannot stop thinking of Kit's words. She would never lie to him; omit the truth perhaps, but never lie. She hasn't asked him again, but he knows she wants to. The idea that he doesn't know what he's saying is not a foreign concept to her; she's always adamant that he's 'talking crap' whenever things are beyond her comprehension, but this is different and the question remains on her lips…who is Rose?

"I think they're changing guard," she whispers suddenly, startling him slightly. He hates when she's able to do that, he's normally so unflappable, but not recently.

"Yeah, time for the fun to start." He flashes her a cheeky grin and she returns in kind, just knowing that he doesn't want to talk about it. He knows she wants to ask, but they're not like that. They have fun, they're companions, and they trust each other implicitly, but there's a line that they've never crossed. They're friends, but not confidants; they're both too private for that and that's one of the reasons he loves travelling with her. The occasional touch of history, the random mention of family; it's enough to know that the she'll listen if he wants her to and he knows she takes comfort in the same fact; the door's open, but they've never really used it. She hates domestic and so does he. Something about that thought stirs a hidden snatch of memory, but he hasn't the time to think on it; they have a job to do, another world to save.

They creep towards the stone wall and he pulls out his sonic screwdriver, ignoring Kit's, 'Boys and their toys' remark. Holding it in front of him, he studies the wall, looking for anything that might signify an opening. After a moment, he grins at her.

"This way," he says cheerfully, not really caring that the guards are changing over less than ten metres away. He uses the screwdriver to pass through the force field and quickly makes an opening in the iron grate in front of them.

"Come on, Doctor, we haven't got all night."

She's getting grumpy, which means she's either hungry, tired, or entering into the female cycle that he'd really rather not have anything to do with. Especially with this companion. He shakes his head and finishes the opening, gently pulling the grate aside and allowing her to enter before him.

"So, thought of a plan yet?" she asks, taking his hand as he leads the way towards the castle. It's a lot more daunting than it was from outside the walls and he's glad. Where's the fun if there's no challenge?

"Yes, I have."

"I'll rephrase; thought of a plan that doesn't involve us running away in the end?"

"I think I'm insulted."

"You only think? Boy, am I losing my touch." She winks at him and he rolls his eyes. He can't help but be reminded a little of Jack. He frowns, not quite sure why he finds his memories of Jack so patchy. No matter how hard he tries to clarify it, he still finds it difficult to remember exactly what happened to the human. He's sure there should be more, but something in him has always pushed the thoughts away; he's never really thought that much about it and now is definitely not the time.

"How do you plan to get us in?" Kit asks wryly. He follows her gaze and suddenly understands why the main gates were so easy to breech; the castle itself is more than a little covered. An entire troop of people stand outside, marching in a military style that's so at odds with the people he saw in the streets that he almost can't believe they're of the same race.

"Well? How are we going to get in?"

"I thought we'd knock."

Ignoring Kit's spluttering, he stands up straight and walks out from behind the large statue they're hiding behind, dragging his uncooperative companion with him. When the first guard notices him, there's a stilted surprise in the movement of the regiment and the Doctor grins and waves. They quickly surround him and he continues to smile. People are so easy to confuse and he can't deny that he gets an immense amount of pleasure out of baffling them; humans especially, but not specifically.

"Hello."

"Identify yourself!" A young man wearing what the Doctor could only describe as an over-ornamented toga approaches them. The colour of his 'uniform' varies only slightly from the others, but is noticeably darker than the pale red of his companions. He acts as though he is in charge, but the Doctor has one advantage; he can sense fear, like a dog, as Kit always liked to point out, and the young man before him is most definitely afraid. These people aren't soldiers and they know it.

"I'm the Doctor and this is my companion, Rose."

"Kit," she says slowly, correcting him, and he turns to face her, surprise etched on his face.

"Huh."

"Tell me you know you said it this time."

"I know. I have no idea _why_, but I know."

"Your names are irrelevant!" the young man all but shouts and the Doctor looks at him with a frown.

"Then why did you ask us to identify ourselves?"

"I…Silence!"

The Doctor rolls his eyes and takes a step closer, lowering the man's gun. The others around them straighten up and close in a little.

"Look, we all know that not one of you is properly trained to handle these guns. Now, we can do this the easy way and you can all put your guns down and take me to your leader," he ignores Kit's snort and continues, "or we can do this the hard way and you can all blow your own heads off, because you're holding them backwards."

There's a moment of confusion and rocks slightly on his feet, his facial expression not altering from his patented grin. He knows the guns are the right way round, Kit knows the guns are the right way round, and he's pretty sure that most of them know; however, his tone left no room for anything other than agreement and he knows he's won.

"There now," he says gleefully, as the last weapon is lowered. "Now, how about we go inside your lovely big fortress so I can meet the bad man with the weapons, eh?"

Not quite knowing how to take him, they shift slightly and begin to lead the way towards the castle. The 'leader' of the group orders the others to remain at their post as he leads the Doctor and Kit into the castle.

"I can't believe that worked," Kit mumbles and he squeezes her hand a little.

"See, that's your problem, you know, not enough faith in me. I'm brilliant, I am."

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "And don't you just know it."

"Yes, I do," he clarifies. "I'm glad you finally agree."

"I agree to disagree."

"Somehow I thought you might."

She grins up at him and he chuckles slightly. They follow the young guard through the castle in silence, save a few muttered comments from Kit regarding the 'awful décor' (an obsession of hers that he'll never understand). The inside is cluttered with what could have been classy had it not all been thrown in haphazardly and cluttered to the point of being tacky. Gold trims the walls and flowers trail in their wake, but taste was ever absent.

After traversing the entire layout of the castle, or so it felt, they finally reach the main audience chamber. The Doctor glances at Kit to see her reaction to the mishmash of ornaments and is pleasantly entertained by the twisting of her face as it contorts in disgust. At least her hobbies provided him amusement on occasion.

"Who is this?" a voice demands and his attention is drawn to the throne at the centre of the room. He wasn't sure what he had expected in this 'leader', the person running the entire planet, in a sense, but it certainly wasn't the small child that's frowning at him from the raised area. She looks to be about eight or nine and she's standing with her hands on her hips, glaring at them.

He stifles his laughter, but it isn't his fault; he didn't start it. Kit's face is buried in his jacket sleeve as her shoulders shake and she's not helping matters. He amends that it's really not that amusing; or rather it isn't for him. He's seen the universe in so many different times, from so many different ways and it's not an unusual occurrence to find children both revered and looked up to; he's not even laughing at the situation, he's laughing at Kit. The snorts coming from his sleeve continue and he nudges her in warning. Laughing in the face of a child is never a good idea (he hates dealing with children in the huff), but to do so in front of one in possession of a nuclear weapon was just plain stupid, especially given the feelings he was getting from the girl. If only he could get Kit to understand that.

"I'm sorry," she says, trying to compose herself. She looks up at him and offers an apologetic smile.

"Please behave."

"It's not my fault you think my laugh's funny."

"You laugh like a hyena. On helium."

"Oi!" She punches his arm. "Watch it!"

"Who are you?" the young voice demands again and he turns to the girl, with one last look at Kit.

"I am the Doctor and this is-"

"Kit."

"- my companion, Kit." He frowns at her. "I know your name." She just raises her eyebrows at him and he clears his throat, turning back to the girl. "And who are you?"

"I am Kylahna and you're in my castle."

"Just what we need," Kit mutters, "an eight year old megalomaniac with the firepower to destroy a planet."

"You're not helping."

"Why are you here?" Kylahna says with the pretensions of authority.

The Doctor smiles and lets go of Kit's hand, approaching the child. "We're here because you've been a naughty girl."

She glares at him. "I have not."

He looks at her sceptically. "Are you sure? Because a little bird told me that you want to play with bombs."

"They're not bombs, they're plant growers."

He clucks his tongue at her and shakes his head. "Now we both know that's not true, don't we. You've told everybody else that, but you're lying."

"I am not!"

He smiles and taps her head, causing her to step away from him quickly. The zap of power that runs through his finger only solidifies his theories. "I can see in here, Kylahna and I know that you're not really one of these people, are you?" She glares at him and his skin tingles at the prospect of a challenge.

"Leave now or I'll hurt you."

"Now that's not very nice, is it?"

"I'll hurt your pretty friend then."

He shrugs. "Go on. I dare you."

"Doctor, what the hell are you doing?"

He turns to his companion, who is sporting a glare not unlike the child beside him. "I'm trying to sort out this mess, now will you be quiet?" She gives him a look that says he's going to pay for this later, but he's more concerned with the now. He turns back to the Kylahna and grins. "Now, where were we? Oh, yes, let's see what happens when I do this."

Without giving her a chance to move, he clamps his hands on either side of her head, allowing her power to course through him. Her thoughts open to him and he calms her struggling, not forcing her to accept his way of thinking, but letting her know, without doubt, that he'll stop her, no matter what. She slowly relents and he lets go, stepping away from her. She glares one last time and picks up a small device from the throne.

"I'll get you back, Doctor," she says, a song in her childlike voice, before clicking the device and slipping from existence.

He takes a deep breath to steady himself and turns around to face Kit. The thoughts come at him, unbidden, and he falters, stumbling in his movement and landing on the few stairs to the raised area. Kit is at his side in an instant and he barely notes that the guard that had shown them to the room has just fled in terror at the fact that his 'queen' has just vanished without a trace.

"Doctor, what's wrong? What did she do to you?"

"I…I don't know."

There are thoughts running through his mind; memories of his dreams finally flowing freely and this time he's awake, this time he can see her and remember her. She stands before him with her tongue between her teeth and a twinkle in her eyes, but it's not all there. There are gaps, holes in his thoughts and, no matter how hard he tries, he can't fill them.

"Rose," he says softly and Kit frowns at him, her worry evident on her face.

"You're scaring me," she whispers and he lets out a breath.

"I'm scaring myself."

"Doctor, who is Rose?"

He shakes his head and wracks his brains for an answer, but he doesn't have one…but he does have more than he started with. He has her face and her name. He just doesn't know everything and the question still haunts him.

Who is Rose?

He only wishes he knew.

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**End of Part Three**

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Yeah, I'm not entirely enamoured with this chapter, but I'm not sure what I'd fix about it. Never mind.

Thanks once again for all the reviews this fic has got; I'm so chuffed! Now, whilst you're waiting for the next part, I highly recommend you head over to TheEvenstarEstel's profile and read her wonderful fic 'The City of the Evening Star', because it's incredible!

Go on, hit the review button, you know you want to! ;)


	5. Breathe Me In

**eeveekitty85: **I know! I can't believe he's all gone...whimper

**Note to all my wonderful reviewers:** You ROCK! Thank you so much for the response to this fic, it means a lot. Keep those reviews coming!

xxxxx

**Part Four: Breathe Me In**

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The trip back to where they had left the TARDIS had seemed to take forever and he stumbles slightly when they finally open the door. The confusion and panic left behind them is all but forgotten and he can't ignore the slight hint of guilt at leaving them that way, but he can always come back to the same place in time and fix things. One of the things that has always been his weakness is the way he departs; the way he never deals with the consequences of his actions, but Kit was an adamant believer in making sure the job was done right and he had altered his way of doing things ever so slightly since bringing her on board. It wasn't an unwelcome change and she handled most of the fall out, but it was a change none the less. However, at this precise moment, his companion is pacing the TARDIS control room and he knows that the problems with these people are the last thing on her mind.

She hadn't asked anything more of him since they had left the castle, simply guided him back to the TARDIS, her hand clutching onto her rose tightly. He hadn't spoken either, not particularly sure what he could say. He had no idea what was going on with him, but his dreams were plaguing him now, taunting the edges of his conscience in such a way that he couldn't rest; he wouldn't rest until he knew something.

"I have an idea."

Her words startle him and he looks up at her, not something he normally has to do, given her small stature. The worried look in her eyes touches him in a way that he didn't think he'd ever feel again, because he never thought he'd find someone who cared again; he didn't particularly want to look. Jack might have touched that place had he stayed, but he had gone…and why had Jack left?

"I think you should go to sleep."

"I'm sorry, what?" He frowns at her, still unsure as to what she's getting at.

"I think that your dreams are clearly telling you something." She sighs and runs a hand through her hair, beginning to pace again. He'd always found the act amusing whenever she reverted to 'think mode' and began walking the TARDIS floor as though it were a tread mill, however it was getting on his nerves at this particular point in time. "I didn't want to say anything, but I've been checking up on you lately," she continues, startling him.

"Excuse me?"

"Look, I was worried and so was the TARDIS. Every time I got up in the night to go to the kitchen, or whatever, I would suddenly find myself at your room. She cares about you and she was worried…and so am I."

He looks at his feet, wanting to refute her claims that something's wrong, but knowing he can't. For the TARDIS to take such action with him was not unheard of, but to trust one of his companions enough to let her see him sleeping was clearly an indication that something was really wrong.

"Doctor." The closeness of her voice startles him and he raises his head to find her at his eyelevel, sitting on her haunches, her hands resting on his arms. "You call for her in your sleep." He doesn't answer, not sure there's anything he can say. "I've heard you whisper her name so many times, but we're not like that, we don't talk about stuff like that so I never said anything. You've never mentioned her when you were awake, so I never mentioned her to you. It was like I was spying…which, I guess, I was, but…I want to help you."

"I know you do," he says softly and part of him wants to reply that he wants her to help, but that's not something he needs to say. He doesn't need anyone's help…but he'll get it anyway.

"Please…I can't help you unless you let me in. If you don't trust me, then that's fine, but trust the TARDIS."

"I trust you, Kit, but this is…I don't _know_ what this is."

She smiles sadly at him. "Then go find out. Maybe whatever Kylahna did to you will end up helping you remember when you're awake. You seem so confused whenever you say her name; it's weird that you don't know who she is, but she seems to be everywhere around you."

"Around me, in me; I don't know who she is, but she's got a lot to answer for," he says with fake joviality and Kit chuckles softly.

"Go on, sleep. I'll see if I can have a word with your lovely TARDIS here and see if she can help."

He nods and stands, moving towards the corridor as Kit heads to the central column, tapping on the keyboard. He smiles softly for a moment before turning away and heading towards the room, but it doesn't take long to get there; one turn and he's outside the door.

"Thanks old girl," he says, tapping the door frame as he enters. He takes a moment to look around and is struck by memory; a cheeky smile as _she_ bounces on the bed, eyebrows raised as he watches her from this very doorway. A moment later and it's gone. The room is once more empty and he feels bereft without her.

He glances around the room, looking at the things scattered around. He's never really taken much time to actually _look_ at the items, something almost telling him that would be prying. The makeup on the desktop, the clothes on the chair, and the old trainers lying haphazardly by the cupboard seem more familiar to him now than they ever have before. He wants to know why.

Sleep tugs at him and he doesn't fight it as he heads over to the bed. He's not even sure if he manages to lie down before he's with her. Only this time he's conscious that it's not real.

_She's looking at him, seeming more worn than she ever has before. He takes a moment to drink her in; the blonde hair, those sparkling eyes - which seem sadder than eh remembers ever seeing them before…and he does remember - her lips, her hands, her nose…everything about her is so real and he can almost believe that she _is_ right there with him. But where are they?_

_There's a familiarity about the place and he finally tears his eyes away and looks around. It's the end of the world; that's why it looks so familiar. They're in that same room they had sat opposite each other; they're almost back at the start. He knows everything about her when he sleeps and this time he hopes he'll remember when he wakes._

_He knows her name, her first love, her smile, her wishes, her hopes, her dreams. He knows _her_. She's a part of him, has become something he cannot live without and that explains why he's so lost without her. He doesn't understand why he lost her, _how_ he lost her, but she's his and he wants her back._

_She looks the same as she did when he took her to that viewing station. His Rose. She's wearing the same clothes, the same shoes, holding the same phone…but she's not wearing her smile. She seems scared; scared and silent and he wants to know why, but something is keeping him from moving, something is making him say the same things he said when he was _actually_ with her. They're talking about the TARDIS, how it gets inside their heads…how he didn't ask her permission. Or rather, he's talking, he's responding, but she's not saying what she's supposed to. She sits there, silent and unresponsive, only her eyes pleading with him; just like the last dream. The eyes are said to be the windows to the soul by more than just humans and he understands why, because he can see her soul…and she's losing hold of it._

_Something in him snaps and he cries out as he fights it. He pushes against the memory and hope lights up her soul. He's fighting it, on his knees, forcing the memory to stop playing out. This time he's in charge._

_A breath._

_Closed eyes for a moment._

_Another breath._

_She's so close, but she can't fight it._

_So he will._

_"Rose…" _

_He speaks, almost as if he's forgotten how to. Pushing against the grain is all but excruciating, but he'll do it for her. He's standing now; turning; looking at her hopeful eyes. A moment later he's in front of her, holding her hands in his._

_"Rose."_

_She smiles and a tear trickles down her face. He's never said her name in the memories before, even when he had in the past. That was one constant, she never spoke and her name never left his lips; as if he wasn't meant to know her…he wasn't _meant_ to remember. But she's too much a part of him to ever really forget._

_"I _know_ you." _

_  
She smiles._

_"You're in both my hearts."_

_She takes a breath._

_"I'm going to figure this out."_

_The hope rises._

_"And then I'm going to come get you."_

_She nods._

_And then she's gone._

He sits up, gasping for breath; holding onto the memories as if they're slipping through his fingers like quicksand and perhaps they are. But he's a Time Lord. He won't let them go. Not this time. Some things are gone, but the essence remains and he remembers the dream. He remembers some of the past, but not all of it. He _will_ figure this out. He promised his Rose.

The TARDIS jerks in landing and he frowns, pulling himself together and standing up. For a moment, something in the corner catches his eye and he moves towards it. Crouching onto his haunches, he reaches into the cupboard by one of the discarded trainers and picks up a small box. It's made of metal, is coloured silver, Celtic in design…Rhone Mackintosh or something like that, he's sure. He inspects it, opening it up and fingering the delicate chain inside. He replaces the lid and frowns when he feels something on the bottom. He turns it upside down and the breath catches in his throat, his hearts stop…

_Rose, _

_Happy Birthday, sweetheart,_

_Lots of love, _

_Mum_

Rose. His Rose. He stands with renewed vigour and places the box on the cabinet beside the bed…_her_ bed, before running out the door to the control room. He can't fight the grin on his face and he wouldn't want to, because he can remember everything about the dream and she's real. His Rose is real and he's not going to let anything get in his way.

"We're here," Kit announces as he reaches the central column. "I was about to come get you."

"Where are we exactly?" he asks, feeling strange. It's not often that _he's_ the one asking that.

"Take a look," she says with a mysterious smile.

He jogs over to the door and pushes it open, frowning at what greets him. "I thought you didn't want to ever see those 'ruddy counsel houses' again."

She nods. "I didn't particularly, but I had an idea. You said yourself that the TARDIS had been acting a bit off lately, but you couldn't see anything wrong."

"Yeah."

"She's alive remember."

He frowns as Kit moves towards him, understanding finally catching up with him. "Just because something was stopping me remembering Rose…"

"Doesn't mean that the TARDIS had forgotten her."

He glances outside, something stirring inside him at the bleak, graffiti covered walls, as the rain pours around them. He knows this place. He _knows_ it and the Rose inside him seems to be rejoicing.

"I asked her nicely to help us…to help you and she kept bringing me here. I think she wants to find Rose as much as you do."

He smiles and pats the door. "She's a good friend."

"Yes, she is. Now come on," Kit says, leaving the TARDIS and reaching out a hand to him, smiling as he takes it. "You bought me a Rose…it's time I help you find yours."

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**End of Part Four**

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Well? Still like where it's going? Go on, feed the author's friend (the review button!) and let me know what you think!


	6. Not His After All

**Samwise of the Celeb-Gur: **The shippy dalek, or just a normal one? Actually either way, I'd likely not survive, so here's the next chapter! ;)

**Eevee: **Keep on smiling! And, yes, fanfic is all there is until Christmas…am just hoping it's Chris-tmas of the Eccleston kind…

**Moon maiden:** I don't want to spoil it, but, let's be honest, if she was dead, wouldn't be much of a story…although… ;)

**Staticrhubarb:** You're one of the only ones to start asking those questions and they're the ones I'm getting at; you're right to be doing so…I'm just not going to answer them yet:p Haha! ;)

**Blue Tajiri** So glad you think it's in character for the Doctor, I was a little worried about it when I started this one.

**Everyone:** Thanks **so** much for the reviews. They mean a lot. HUGS

xxxxx

**Part Five: Not His After All**

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He sniffs the air as they exit the TARDIS, loving the familiarity of London that comes with it. Snatches of forgotten memories whir through his mind and his determination increases. Someone has done something to him and he will find out what it is and make them pay.

They walk slowly towards the nearest block of flats, something inside him telling him that's where he needs to head. He looks up through the rain, feeling as though he should know exactly where to go, and wishing that he knew what to do. This has never happened to him before, never has he felt this kind of helplessness before. What happened in the time wars was…necessary and, yes, he _was_ helpless to do anything other than what he had to, but this was so different; something had been stolen from him, his memories had been changed and altered and he had been 'rewired' to not remember or care.

The more he thought of Rose, the more he needed her. She was as essential to him as any other part of his life was. She was a part of him. Memories were coming back now, slowly, but surely and there was so much more at stake than just Rose. Jack was gone and he didn't know where or why.

Whilst the first time he had thought of Jack when asleep he had been jealous, he now knew that hadn't lasted. Jack had become a part of the team. He had changed the dynamic between them, but it had been welcome. Spending every day with Rose was all he had wanted, but it was also becoming more and more difficult to maintain the need for _only_ friendship. He had wanted her; he still wants her. Throwing Jack into the mix had allowed for the camaraderie to continue and even added to the tension at the same time. It was exciting and he loved it…had loved it…wanted it again.

"Well? Any ideas?" Kit asks, breaking into his thoughts.

"Nope."

"Well, aren't you just full of ideas," she says, rolling her eyes.

"Hey! I'm full of good ideas, me, I'm just drawing a blank at the moment and, given the circumstances, I think I'm allowed. I've lost memories." Whilst he had intended to maintain the joviality, the last part came out sounding sad and lost.

"We will find her."

He glances at Kit and smiles, squeezing her hand. "I know we will. I just hate this."

She nods, knowing, without asking, exactly what he's talking about. He hates to feel helpless, he hates not knowing what happened to him and to Rose, and he hates that he knows something is wrong, but has to let it unravel on its own.

"Oi! _You_!"

He starts as a thickly accented London voice breaks through the moment and turns. He has no idea what he's done, but whoever she is, she doesn't look all that happy to see him. Something tells him that he shouldn't be too happy to see her either.

"Don't you move a muscle!" the woman says, stopping right in front of them. If glares could kill, he muses, he'd be dust. "Where the hell have you been?"

He frowns. "Who are you?"

"Who am I? You cheeky clown! Don't you play dumb with me. I'm not as stupid as you seem to think I am." Her hands land on her hips and the word 'battleaxe' comes to mind. "It's been six months! I've been waiting for six months for a visit and you're trying to pretend you don't know who I am?" She looks as if she's only just beginning to get started, when she spots Kit and frowns. "Who's she? And where's Rose?"

"You know Rose?" he asks, suddenly not caring about the fact that he had been ready to turn and leave. "Where is she? Is she here?"

"Is she _here_? Of course she's not here, she's with you! What are you playing at?" A thought strikes her and her face instantly pales. "Where's my little girl? If you've hurt her I swear to God I'll-"

"He hasn't hurt anyone," Kit says, finally breaking into the conversation. "I haven't got a clue who you are and I really don't care right now. His memories have been altered."

"Altered?" the woman asks. "What do you mean? Where's my Rose?" She looks behind them and, spotting no one, looks at them questioningly. "And where's Jack?"

"You know Jack?" The Doctor seems shocked. "Jack…I wondered if he was involved," he says, more to himself the others.

"Do you remember why he left?" Kit asks and he shakes his head.

"Jack left?" The woman frowns. "But he thought the world of you and Rose, why would he leave?"

She's beginning to look frightened as well as confused and he can't blame her. Despite the fact that she's rather irritating, to put it mildly, she clearly loves Rose and, from what he can gather from her conversation, she has every right to; he's pretty sure he's just found Rose's mother.

"What's your name?"

"Kit," his companion answers. From the tone of her voice, he can tell that Kit has reached the same conclusion, because she's being nicer than she was a few moments ago. "And you are?"

"Jackie. I'm Rose's mum." Jack looks at him with sad eyes. "Where is she?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know."

There must be something in his eyes, he concedes, when she doesn't strike out. A few memories are surfacing and, from what he's getting, Jackie doesn't like him too much, so it's a surprise when she doesn't lash out. Instead, she begins to lead them up through the estate and into a house that's bursting with familiarity.

"I've been here," he mutters, but Jackie must have heard him because the fear in her gaze just increased.

"You really don't remember, do you?"

He shrugs. "It's coming back slowly." He walks through living room, picking up photos and smiling as Rose looks out at him. She's everywhere in this house and he wants to take it all in…he wants to breathe her in.

"He looks lost," Jackie says to Kit and he hasn't the heart nor the energy to let her know he's not deaf.

"He is," Kit replies. His companion must know he can hear them, but Kit's never really cared about stuff like that; she obviously wants him to hear. "He's been having dreams for as long as I've been with him, but he could never remember them when he was awake. She's a part of him, Jackie."

"I know."

It was spoken softly, but he heard it and he's not sure if that was intentional or not. More of his memories of Jackie have returned and he's never really experienced anything other than dislike from the woman. But that's something he can't understand; why was Jackie a part of his life? No other companion ever got to go home, so why did Rose? He's fooling himself, of course, because he already knows the answer to that.

"When was the last time you saw her?" Kit asks and he turns around, wanting to fully be a part of the conversation now.

"About six months ago. There was a ruckus in the living room one morning and I came down with a bat in my hand," she says, smiling slightly at the memory. "There's this loud American sitting on the couch, with his feet on my table, watching old reruns of Star Trek and shouting 'Spock' as if he was having some sort of epiphany." The Doctor laughs and she looks at him. "You were in the kitchen with Rose, making breakfast and moaning about how you 'didn't do domestic' and how she was turning you into an old maid before your time-"

"That sounds like you," Kit says with a laugh.

"But it was obvious you didn't care, not really." Jackie looks at him closely and he suddenly feels like he's under a microscope. "She's my little girl, you know? And you took her away from me. I really hated you for that."

"I remember." He nods. "You hit me once."

"And I'll do it again if you don't bring her back to me." There's a slight waver in her voice and he suddenly feels sorry for her. "I once asked you to promise to keep her safe…I knew you wouldn't, but then I knew that I couldn't either. She's my baby and I just want to keep her safe but all she wanted was you. I couldn't stop her, but I would've if I could." She chuckles softly. "I should be hitting you again right now."

"Then why aren't you?" he asks, feeling as if he deserves a lot more than a punch from someone's mother.

"Because you look so lost without her."

He nods, but doesn't say anything. "Do you remember anything about where we were headed next?"

"Jack said something about water so dense you could walk on it and a…a…oh, what was it?" she growls, trying to force herself to remember.

"A blend of species so vast you couldn't see anyone the same for miles…and all they want to do is party," he finishes, a hint of hope bubbling inside.

"That's it!" Jackie says enthusiastically. "I couldn't pronounce the name."

"Neither could Rose," he returns, feeling as if, if he could remember her, he would be hitting himself for getting along with the woman. Somehow he thinks he might change his opinion of her slightly.

"Well?" Kit asks.

"That's where I left Jack…I remember him saying that I was holding him back from 'all the fun in the universe' so that's where I left him."

"That doesn't sound right." Jackie shakes her head.

"No, it doesn't," he says softly.

"That boy was a charmer," she smiles, "and he loved to party, but you and Rose were all he had and he loved you both."

"I know."

"Well, I think we have our first stop," Kit says, placing her hand on his arm and squeezing it gently. "If we can find Jack, maybe we can find Rose."

He smiles at her. "Then what are we waiting here for."

"Wait!"

He turns to Jackie expectantly, but she seems unable to speak. He doesn't care what she asks, but if it's 'can I come?' the answer will be a decided 'NO'.

"Will you…will you have something to eat first?"

There's something in her voice, a loneliness in her eyes that he can't ignore. It's something he knows well. She misses her daughter and, surely, he owes it to her.

"Course we will," Kit replies and he's grateful. He might not remember Jackie, but he's sure that when his memories return he won't want the reminder that he agreed to eat with her.

The meal was pleasant and he found that, although a lot of her conversation was boring and irritating, he actually got on all right with her. Kit seemed pained at times, but was able to talk freely when she got used to Jackie; by the end of the meal Jackie had made him promise to return soon, not matter what. She had also made another friend of another companion. He wondered what it was about Kit and Jack that he didn't have. Perhaps it was just the inclination, or perhaps Kit was just a good actor.

"Oh, my God, that woman could talk for the entire planet. Don't ever leave me with her again," Kit almost shouts as they walk towards the TARDIS. "I mean she's nice enough, but, dear God, she doesn't stop! I mean, who cares!"

He smirks at her. "And here I thought you'd enjoyed yourself."

"She's all right, but, I swear, if Rose is like her, I have no idea what we're bothering to look for."

"Rose isn't like her. Rose is…perfect."

Kit rolls her eyes and he knows she about to make some comment with the word 'mushy' in it when he's saved by someone.

"Oi! Doctor!"

Although, looking at the boy, he's not sure he wants this kind of saving. "Ricky?" he says questioningly.

"How many times do I have to tell you, it's Mickey."

"One more apparently," Kit says smugly.

"Who the hell are you?"

"None of your business, who the hell are you?"

"I'm Rose's boyfriend. Where is she?"

He blinks at Mickey, not sure he's heard right. Rose is _his_…isn't she? But no, he remembers this boy, he remembers Rose coming to see him…pretending she needed a passport. Rose has a boyfriend. For so long he's thought she was a dream only to find that she isn't. She's real. She's lost and he has to find her, but there's one thing that's worse than all that. Maybe she is real, but it doesn't matter.

She's not his after all.

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**End of Part Five**

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Hope you like! ;)


	7. For All The Universe

**91 reviews? My _God_, you guys _ROCK_! ;)**

**eeveekitty85:** Hee, you crack me up! ;) So glad you like Kit and I promise you'll find out what happened to Jack soon.

**Miss-Smilla:** Thank you so much for your review; I love the in depth ones! Okay, Kit: glad you can see she's not a Mary Sue, but as for trusting her, well, that's something you'll have to decide for yourself at the moment. The Doctor and Rose's connection: You have some really interesting points, but I don't want to spoil the story by commenting on them! As for getting a new companion so quickly…I really haven't specified how long ago he 'lost' Rose, but maybe Jack will be able to answer that one if they can find him... ;) Thanks again for the review and I hope I start answering some of your questions soon!

**Dante Reaver:** Hee, try not to lose your voice! ;) Those are some ideas you have about Jack, maybe you'll find out soon! Glad you're getting into this one, hope you like this chapter.

**Thank you all!**

**Note:** I haven't had internet access all week, hence the lack of updating, but I finally move into a new house on Sunday and I will not only have internet access, but I will once again have broadband squee.

**Thanks again for all your reviews, I LOVE getting them, so keep 'em coming! ;)**

xxxxx

**Part Six: For All The Universe**

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"You're her boyfriend?" Kit says sceptically, but he barely hears her. His gaze is fixed on Ricky, Mickey, whatever, he doesn't really care what the boy is called, only that he can't call Rose his…because she's not.

"Yeah, I am…well, sort of."

"Sort of?" the Doctor asks, almost immediately. Any slight bit of hope that he has is clambering to the surface, but he tries not to listen lest he loses her again.

"Well, we never broke up, properly."

"But you did break up," Kit clarifies and Mickey glares at her.

"It's all _his_ fault for stealing Rose away in the first place." Mickey is almost shouting, but the Dotor prefers that; means he can shout back and he's more than willing given the chance. "And when the pretty boy American showed up, well, that was it, wasn't it?" It's clear the boy doesn't expect an answer; he's just goading them, however, the Doctor smirks in response. He's liking his odds better with each word out of the whelp's mouth. "But we never really finished it." The truth still hurts, but the Doctor remembers. He remembers Rose's tears as she said goodbye. In _her_ mind, Mickey is no more her boyfriend than he is, but in _his_ mind, he stands more of a chance. "Where is she, Doctor?"

The question startles him and his reaction doesn't go unnoticed, but before he can be questioned (and before Kit can reply), he answers. "We're off to collect her and Jack just now, not that it's any of your business, _Ricky_."

Mickey glares at him. "There's no way Rose would let you visit Jackie without her. Where is she? I swear, if you've hurt her I'll-"

"You'll what?" He lets got of Kit's hand and steps forward, towering over Mickey, even though the height difference isn't that much. His eyes are furious and Mickey takes a step back. He's lost his Rose, lost her as if she were his keys or something, and he's mad at himself. Mad because he should never have let her go, mad because he feels lost, mad because she means the universe to him, mad at everything, but mostly he's mad at himself for forgetting her. He had actually _forgotten_ her; who she was; what she meant to him - it was all lost and he has no idea where she is or how to get her back. And _Ricky_? Well, he's the perfect target to let it out on.

"T-tell her I want to talk to her."

"I might."

Kit takes hold of his hand and he's almost startled by her presence. The air around him only has room for him and his misery and self hatred, but she breaks through. She isn't about to let him wallow and she isn't going to stop before they get Rose back. He knows this as sure as he knows that he'll stop at nothing to find her.

"Get lost, Ricky," she says, startling him once again. He really wishes she'd stop doing that, but he consoles himself with the knowledge that he's not entirely himself - she's going to get a shock when he has Rose back and is on top form.

Without waiting for the boy to respond, they walk hand in hand to the TARDIS. The door closes behind them in no time and they move towards the central control together, separating and working the TARDIS seamlessly in silence. There's no need to talk, because he knows where they're going and she knows how to handle the rest of the journey.

He feels a tug in the back of his mind. Rose is calling him. He doesn't know exactly what the dreams are all about, but he's beginning to think less and less that they're just _dreams_. Something tells him they may be a link to the _real_ Rose, something that's keeping them tied together. The panel in front of him blinks for a second, so quickly that he's not entirely sure that it happened and that's when he feels the TARDIS in his mind…he _gets_ it now. Whatever the link is, whatever the dreams are, the TARDIS is helping them; somehow she's helping them.

"Thanks, old girl," he whispers as Rose 'tugs' again. "Kit, I-"

"On you go. If the coordinates are in, I can handle it from here."

He smiles and nods before heading out towards to Rose's room. Once again the TARDIS has rearranged the corridors, but this time he finds himself in the kitchen, no matter how hard he tries to get to Rose's room. He chuckles and takes the hint, making himself a sandwich before heading back into the corridors. He makes quick work of his food and soon finds himself in the room. Kicking off his shoes, he lies down, smiling as he finds her instantly.

_He recognises the place immediately; they're in the first place they met. The building she used to work in is eerily quiet, no living plastic, no sound, nothing but them. Breaking out of the pattern of memories is easier this time as he crosses towards her, pulling her into his arms. He's pleased when she wraps her arms around him in return. _

_  
"Oh, Rose," he says into her hair. _

_She pulls away, but he won't let her out of the circle of his arms. She's looking at him with shock in her gaze and a hopeful smile on her face._

_"That's right, _Rose_, I know you. I know who you are. I know where you're from; in fact I just spoke to your mother and that irritating ex-boyfriend of yours, Ricky." She punches his arm lightly, still smiling at him. "I remember who you are and I remember most of the things we've done together…but then that's what you were planning, wasn't it? That's why you're doing this. You're controlling these dreams, aren't you?"_

_She nods, a tear trickling down her cheek. She still doesn't speak and her silence bothers him._

_"I wish I knew why you won't speak to me."_

_She shakes her head, looking helpless. Closing her eyes briefly, she tries to control her emotions. He understands, because he's a bit choked up himself._

_"I can't remember how I lost you," he says, causing her to open her eyes again. "I get that you _can't_ speak to me, but I wish you could." He looks away, not wanting to see her gaze when he next speaks. "I lost Jack as well. I don't know where he is, but I remember him, as well, now. I lost you both."_

_He feels her hands on his face. She forces him to look at her and the expression on her face is enough to tell him that she understands. Somehow she already knew._

_"Is he with you?"_

_She shakes her head._

_"Do you know where he is?"_

_Again._

_He sighs. "Did we lose him first?"_

_She nods._

_"Can you remember how?"_

_Once more she shakes her head. He has to resist the urge to shout at something._

_"I don't understand what happened, Rose, but I promise you I will find out. I will find out and I will make them pay. Whoever did this to us will be sorry that they ever met us."_

_She nods. She stopped him from killing the last Dalek. She stopped him from allowing his anger to take over. But this time she can't…and she doesn't seem to want to either. He's glad, because whatever he does, it's not going to be pretty. Scenarios are running through his mind, each one worse punishment than the one before, but nothing seems enough._

_Her hand touches his face again and he jerks out of his thoughts, leaning into her touch. She's with him and he doesn't want to waste any of their time together._

_He has an idea and lets go of her so that he can grab hold of her hand. He pulls her with him and runs towards the open lift, glancing behind him to see her grinning. This is what it's meant to be like. He remembers the feeling well and it's perfect…except that he has to wake up soon. Ignoring reality, he chooses a level and grins at her as the lift doors close. They stand there, a brief moment suspended in time, just gazing at each other. They will be together again. He will make sure that they are._

_The lift opens onto the roof and they walk out into the dark night. Walking to the edge of the building, he sits; his feet dangling off the ledge and she laughs…he wishes he could hear the sound. He remembers, but it's not the same. _

_After a moment of looking at him indulgently, she rolls her eyes and sits next to him. He nudges her and glances at her sidelong. She does the same, her tongue against her teeth. It all seems so right, being there with her. It's perfect. But perfect doesn't last forever. She screams in silence as her head whips back. _

_He reaches for her, but she's gone. _

_He sits alone in the darkness._

_The light ebbs in around the edges, but to him it's just blackness…and he wakes without her once more._

He takes a deep, shaky breath and sits up, rubbing his eyes. He doesn't want to think what her abrupt departure meant. He can't think of it or it'll drive him insane. He consoles himself, knowing that he'll reach her soon and prays that soon is quick enough.

The TARDIS jerks as it lands and he stands up, heading towards the door. This is something new to think about, something to keep his mind off Rose, albeit briefly. He heads into the control room and sees Kit right where he left her. She's laughing to herself, or perhaps with the TARDIS, her fingers flying effortlessly across the touch screen he had finished with the previous week. She had fine tuned it, much to his displeasure, but it bothered him less that it ought to have. The TARDIS didn't mind, so he had no right to get annoyed at her; it wasn't him she was playing with after all. He frowns, briefly relieved that he kept that thought to himself so that Kit couldn't comment on his choice of words, before clearing his throat.

She smiles up at him and inclines her head towards the door. "You ready?"

"Aren't I always?" he asks cheerfully and she rolls her eyes.

"Come on then," she says with a sigh and they head to the door.

The dream he just had flashes through his mind and a grim smile replaces his momentary happiness. He can vividly see the pain that was etched into her features and he almost growls. He will find her. Rose might not be on the planet outside the door, but he's on her trail and he knows it. He's finally doing something, but he has a new goal for the moment, one that will lead him to Rose and fill in the other small hole in his heart that he has only just discovered. He has something else to focus on.

Finding Jack.

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**End of Part Six**

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Okay, so we're finally getting somewhere! I have the start of the next two chapters written, but I'm a bit unsure as to where I'm taking them. Chapter Seven: Little Girl Lost will be from Rose's POV, before we get back to the Doctor and Kit…and maybe Jack if they can find him! ;)

Hope you're still enjoying, let me know by hitting that review button and telling me what you think!


	8. Little Girl Lost

Okay, sorry for the delay, but Harry-Potter-Week was quickly followed by My-Bloody-Computer-Won't-Frelling-Work-Properly-Week. There's a change in POV, as promised, this is from Rose. It was also a total bugger to write! Hope you enjoy.

**This chapter's for those wonderful folk at TIME AND CHIPS**, because they showed me that people can really care for those they don't know very well. I'm so sorry for that mistaken post this week and I'm sorry I've been AWOL for so long. Thank you very much for caring.

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, I can't believe I've broken 100 reviews on for this. You guys rock. Keep those reviews coming!**

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**Part Seven: Little Girl Lost **

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The sky outside the window slowly turns pink; a mixture of rainbows converging into the one colour, but its beauty seems irrelevant to her. It's almost night time again; almost time for the respite she has between silent empty days. She lives only for those moments; she lives for every second she gets to spend with him, even if she has little control over where they go and what they do. But he's getting control. She smiles at that thought. Her Doctor found a way, just as she's spent so long hoping he would. He's coming to get her, she knows he is…it's all that keeps her going some days.

It's not so much the loneliness that bothers her, not even so much the memories of her family and friends, because she had already made peace with the fact that she rarely saw them, she had already known that each visit might be her last…it's the memory of _him _that haunts her. She remembers everything even though she knows that he doesn't, not yet. She remembers every smile, every moment she held his hand, she remembers every time her heart missed a beat just because he was there beside her. She has no regrets, but she can't help thinking that there was so much more she wanted from him, so much she still wants. They didn't waste any of their time together, with the Doctor time was always at their disposal, and there's nothing she wishes to change. What she wants is _more_ time, what she wants is to tell him how much he means to her.

"24, time to go."

She flinches as her given name is called. _Name_, she laughs, _more like designation_. She feels like she's been assimilated into a borg collective, like on Star Trek; 7of9 or something like that. She remembers watching with Mickey on Wednesday nights after work; her first job in the shop round the corner. One pound ninety an hour. Bloody slave labour, well that's what she'd thought at the time, but now she knows better. Working for smelly old Al had been the best job in the world compared to what faces her every day now. Her only saving grace is that the days are shorter on this planet than on earth, and the nights thankfully longer.

During the day she's expected to put up pretences and she knows the punishment of refusing. She's lost count of how long she's been here; lost count of the weeks she spent refusing everything, denying it all. They took things from her one at a time, her voice - when she wouldn't stop screaming for him, her hair - when she refused to let them ornate it, but worst of all…her dignity.

She clutches her hands into fists at her side, refuses to look down, refuses to acknowledge the leering gazes and hooting calls as she's led outside and around the courtyard. The wind gently whips about her causing a reaction in her body that seems to please the guards on duty, but still she cannot let them see that it's tearing her apart, because all she has left for them to take are her memories and she won't allow that. He is all that keeps her going some days, the light at the end of the tunnel, or some crap like that. Either way, it's everything to her, it's the only thing that keeps her strong enough to still say no.

"Ah, young one." The silky voice sends a strong surge of loathing coursing through her blood. "Once more we find ourselves standing in this room."

There are so many replies on her tongue, but her inability to speak would only add to the humiliation if she tried to reply without sound. A finger begins to trace its way up her arm and across the back of her neck, but she wills herself to remain still. She won't give him the reaction he's trying to get. He can do whatever he wants with her, but her spirit won't break. She isn't sure when it was that she first realised that the TARDIS was with her, but the knowledge that there was a chance to be remembered sparked some resistance in her quickly fading strength. She had almost said 'yes', almost allowed…she had almost signed her own fate. She had given up hope, but just before the word left her mouth she had felt the TARDIS, that small link to the Doctor had come into awareness and her fight to make him remember had begun.

She still remembers the last time she saw him, still remembers his screams as they ripped his memories from him. It hadn't been so hard for them to do the same to Jack, because they weren't so concerned with him, because they planned to separate the two men. No, all Jack needed was a temporary bout of amnesia where she was concerned, because he would have no means to do anything about it when they were done and he had been left on some planet, but the Doctor had caused so much more trouble. A ghost of a smile teased her lips as she realised what that meant. She was so ingrained in him that they had struggled to make him forget; he had fought them every step of the way as she had watched. It had taken days before the mixture of drugs, surgery, and torture had finally removed every part of her from his life. And she had watched. Watched as the only thing she clung to was ripped from under her feet.

"Are you still thinking about him?"

The sudden close proximity of his voice startles her and she can't stop her reaction. He laughs at her and she inwardly cringes. She's never heard a laugh so cruel and yet so beautiful. That's what makes this so much worse, the beauty and _kindness_ that he adorns her with at every meeting. She would have preferred the same treatment the Doctor was given, at least that way it would be easy to know that she was making the right choice in refusing, instead of having reminders of how much easier her life would be if she would just agree.

He waves a hand and the constriction in her throat vanishes. She clutches at it, taking deep gasping breaths, making sure to vocalise them. Her voice is croaky and unused; the five minutes she's allowed during their meetings each day are far from adequate, but they're enough to form one word.

"No," she says instantly.

He laughs again. "My dear, how long do you intend to continue with this madness?"

It's the same conversation every night. He talks and she says nothing but 'no'. He taunts her with ideas of love and comfort, all the while raking his eyes up and down her naked form as if it's his to peruse at will. She hates it. She wants nothing more than to scream and shout at him, to tell him that she'll never agree to anything he wants, to tell him that her Doctor will come for her…but she's already done that so many times. She's lost so much already; so much of who she is seems lost to her and she's not sure she'll ever get it back. She wants to believe that the Doctor is finally on the path, that he's finally going to come and get her, but it seems so different this time.

"24, listen to Agnon."

She turns to 3, shaking her head softly. This is a tactic he began to employ the night after he first took her voice from her; the others will tell her of their lives, of how much better they are now, now that they agreed. She always shakes her head. They can't understand. Their lives were never like hers; they didn't have the Doctor.

"He always gets, 24."

_"I'm a collector." _The words echo in her head at the memory. He always gets. He collects. He always gets. Well not this time.

"You know he won't take you against your will, so you must agree. He can't force you; it's not in his nature," 3 rationalises, not realising that she's merely angering Rose.

"Against his nature?" Rose bellows. "He took me from my friends! He _forced_ them to _forget _me! He took my voice, my hair, my clothes, my _life_! Don't you _dare_ tell me it's against his nature!"

The sound echoes through the room, ricocheting off the walls and coming back twice as loud. As her words fade from the air, the heavy rain on the windows is all that can be heard. She's not sure when it started raining, but this planet's weather system is unstable - the Doctor had told her that when they landed - if only they'd had a heads up that the people were also unstable, perhaps the situation could have been avoided.

"I see we remain at an impasse," Agnon says, drifting undesirably close once more. "Until tomorrow then," he says with a wistful sigh, waving his hand at her throat and stealing her voice for another night.

She keeps her head up as she follows the guard back outside and around the castle. The rain is painful on her sensitive skin and she wants nothing more than to wrap her arms around her chest, but she won't give them the satisfaction.

She enters her room a few moments later with chattering teeth. She's freezing, but she knows that no towel will be forthcoming and she doesn't want to get her sheet wet; it's the only thing she has at night to keep her warm.

The urge to curl into the corner and sob uncontrollably is rising in her again, but she can't let them break her. She feels a gentle tug at the back of her mind and smiles, recognising the TARDIS instantly. The connection weakens with every passing day, but still it remains and she hopes it always will. The idea of the TARDIS being in her mind had originally seemed to wrong; she'd hated that it could read her mind without permission, but now? Well, without it, she'd have no hope of rescue. She'd have nothing.

She slides down the wall and crouches, her knees tucking under her chin and her eyes closing. She tries to reach out to him, but the TARDIS intervenes with what Rose likes to think of as 'call waiting'. The Doctor's out doing something, he can't come to her. She tries to take comfort in hoping that he's looking for her, but after yet another meeting with Agnon she can't help but lose a little more faith that she'll ever be rescued.

_"So where are we?" Rose asks again, frowning as Jack and the Doctor roll their eyes good naturedly. She knows that they're both full of it, because she can always tell when they're bluffing; they've never been here before, they're just in the mood to show off. She doesn't mind really, because let's face it; what girl in her right mind would try to stop two fit guys trying to please her? Plus, the fact that she could get them to do anything for her gives them the right to get a little back every now and then, so she plays stupid and lets them show off._

_"Rosie?" _

_She blinks and looks at Jack, who's frowning at her. She realises she's completely missed their latest explanation of whatever planet they're on and thus not let them show off. She smile and shrugs, knowing that they're not really bothered._

_"Come on then, dozy," the Doctor says, reaching for her hand. _

_  
They walk out into the sunlight and are immediately startled to find that they're surrounded by a crowd of people. To all intents and purposes, they look human; granted, there's a slightly green tinge to their skins, but the sunlight isn't the right colour (something to do with ions in the atmosphere, the Doctor had said, not that she had let on she was listening - he might get the idea she wanted to hear science stuff all the time) so it might just be that._

_"Hello," the Doctor says and she grins. His unfailing optimism that everyone likes to be greeted with a smile always sounds good in theory, but she never remembers anything good coming of those encounters._

_After a lot of strange looks and a rather stilted conversation with one of the locals, the Doctor is soon leading them towards what looks like some castle Rose remembers her mum taking her to when they were on holiday._ 'Course that was cause she fancied the bloke who ran the tours_, Rose remembers with a smile._

_She glances to her right and spots Jack eyeing up the locals. She grins when he turns to look at her with an all too innocent look on his face. There was definitely something about his cocky arrogance that was altogether charming, even if she was at a loss to explain it._

_By the time they reach the 'castle' and begin walk through around inside the maze of corridors for a bit, Rose is bored. So bored in fact that they're seated around King Arthur's table before she so much as realises they aren't walking anymore; _Well_, she reasons, glancing at it, _it is round

_"Welcome."_

_The silky voice attracts everyone's attention and Rose can't deny that she's instantly drawn to the tall, majestic man that has just entered the room. If anyone could ever be said to be the epitome of the word 'gladiator', this man was it. Tall, dark, brooding, handsome, and more muscles than Vin Diesel, Rose can quite safely say, 'guh'._

_"Hi," she says softly, drawing a frown from the Doctor. She notes that Jack is eyeing up their new acquaintance with just as much pleasure as she is, but cant help the smile on her face as the sees that the Doctor seems less impressed._

_"I bid you welcome to our world," the newcomer says, taking a seat opposite them. "May I ask why you come to be?"_

_"In general or just here?" Jack asks with a wink. "Because if it's the first, I can introduce you to the practice."_

_Rose can't help chuckling and refrains from pointing out the obvious when it comes to reproduction. "We're explorers, you might say," Rose answers before the Doctor._

_The man seems startled, but whether it's by her reply or her she's not sure. "I see. I admire exploration."_

_"I'm the Doctor, these are my companions, Rose and Jack," the Doctor says and she can sense the unease in him, but holds of asking anything. "And you are?"_

_"I am Agnon and this is my world."_

_"Is it now?"_

_Agnon nods. "These people are mine to rule such as I am theirs to demand of. They serve me and I serve them the best I can."_

_"And what do you do, Agnon, besides _serving_?" his voice has that slightly patronising lilt to it and Rose smiles, knowing he can see it out of the corner of his eyes. His hand tightens around hers briefly._

_"I'm a collector."_

_"Really?" Jack asks, seeming interested by the wonderful artwork around them. Normally that would confuse her, but as all the portraits are nude she's in full understanding. She rolls her eyes at him and she shrugs. "I like 'em," Jack continues, teasing Rose into a reply._

_  
"Oh, these are but trifles," Agnon says with a smile, unknowingly stepping into their flow before Rose can say anything at all. She looks across the table at Agnon and his eyes lock hers in an intense gaze. His voice has an almost hypnotic feel to it and Rose shakes her head slightly refusing to look back at him. He throws her off balance and he knows it. There's something about this world, something missing, but she's not sure what…and then she realises. Women; she hasn't seen a single woman since they got there and that's not a comforting thought._

A loud clatter startles her and her head pops up, that momentary hope that the Doctor has finally reached her instantly shattered when she sees 17 arrive with her night time glass of water. She nods, but doesn't smile at the woman.

As 17's pattering footsteps fade away, she tries the Doctor again, but to no avail. The TARDIS won't let her through. Rose knows there's a reason, she just wishes she knew what it was. She needs to know.

A flash of pictures and sounds assault her and she reels from the intensity. A moment later, breathing deeply, she sorts through the images the TARDIS sent her and smiles. They're memories of someone…memories of Jack. That's what the Doctor's doing, he's searching for Jack.

The memory of what they did to Jack is fresh in her mind and she smiles grimly. They'll pay for it. Agnon will pay for what he did to her friends, he'll pay for everything he does to her.

_"I'm a collector."_

The voice rings around in her head. He may be a collector, but not for much longer, because if there's one thing that Rose knows without doubt it's that the Doctor and Jack won't rest until she's home…she can't give up on them, because they haven't given up on her. That's what the TARDIS is giving her…hope.

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**End of Part Seven**

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	9. To Search or to See

**Earthdraco:** Her hair was taken as punishment. I don't know about you, but I'd be devastated if my hair was all hacked off just because I told them to go shove their hair piece up their arse ;) Her appearance will be made clear when we can get an outside look at her, though, don't worry.

**Princess Jennifer:** You can say whatever you like in my reviews:p Heh, especially if you're fun with it! ;)

**Borgprincess:** Kit is my own character and you'll find out more about her soon enough, don't worry!

**Goddess of Twilight: **I'm not a Steven King fan, and 9 is the only Doctor I've really seen. I'd suggest keeping it as one fic to focus your energy on the one thing (trust me, tis a nightmare having so many fics!), but only if you think you can weave them together seamlessly. The categories sound intriguing together, but it's all up to you! It was nice of you to ask my opinion, though, am feeling all guru-y:p

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I love ya all! ;) Keep feeding that review monster!**

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**Part Eight: To Search or to See**

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A long time ago (time, of course, being relative to your current position - or position_s_ - in it) humans discovered, though use of their innate curiosity, that there are mathematically proven universal constants. Likewise, a long time ago (regardless of his position in time) The Doctor discovered that the only human universal constants were those of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll; or in this case, sex (with various species, in any numbers, at any given time), drugs (from almost every planet in the reaches of known space), and techno-magma (a disgusting cornucopia of almost every musical style in creation all mixed together to create an ear-splitting din unlike anything heard anywhere else…_ever_).

Tsyaxialameraerinamalonius had once been a beautiful planet filled with nothing but untainted beaches, beautiful forests, gorgeous purple seas, and grassy plains that went on for miles. It was unpopulated except for the minimal plant and sea life and largely undiscovered, but the moment it _was_ discovered it became one of the 'hot points' in the universe. The Doctor is likely the only being who remembers it as it once was; remembers what it was like before there was nothing but a mass of aliens from every origin that did nothing but party, leaving rubbish and various bodily fluids to litter the once magnificent planet. Beings (human and other) were unbelievably thick, he decides - and not for the fist time. Alone a person can be amazing, but the moment you add another five or more their brains just drip out of their ears, or whatever orifice they can find.

The Doctor glances out at the purple ocean to his left, watching as a group of people run along it; barely skimming more than a few centimetres before the buoyancy jiggles them. He wonders if the humans around him remember that old history book he once heard of that was pretty popular for a while; involved a man walking on water. That's right, Jesus; he remembers meeting the man in a pub a few months before the humanoid visited earth. Hadn't liked him much, had a bit of a God complex.

He looks around him, taking a few moments to find Kit amongst the writhing masses. The minute he spots her, he chuckles; she looks as pissed off as he is at the fruitlessness of the search. They've searched only a mile or so of the main walkway on the planets most popular continent and they've been at it for two days. He knows Kit must be tired, but she's said nothing and he knows she won't rest whilst he continues to look.

There are more people on this planet than he ever remembers there being before and it's beginning to dampen his spirits. Even if Kit didn't eventually require sleep, they could search for a few years and still not touch even a tenth of the planet's population. It was worse than finding a needle in a haystack; although, the Doctor has always wondered why humans would put a needle in a haystack when they were likely to need it, bit stupid if you ask him.

They'll never find Jack in this.

He sighs as he indicates to Kit that he's going to enter the next bar. She nods and makes her way to the doorway, briefly catching his hand and giving it a squeeze, before making a beeline for the far edge of the cramped room. The décor is nonexistent and he takes a moment to smile at the fact - it's been bugging Kit since they first arrived; no one cares what anything looks like, so long as there's inebriation of some description in their futures. Most aren't even that bothered with the need for a bed; after all, there are more exciting places to…well, he had to find Jack.

Looking around at the sea of people, he instantly rules out the ones with tentacles, brightly coloured skin and hair, females, short people, and the strange wibbly thing by the 'undecided' toilets. He growls softly under his breath and closes his eyes briefly, before glancing around the dingy nightclub. He can't see Jack at all. Kit catches his gaze from the other side of the room and shrugs. Nothing. They have been searching the planet for two and not only does he not remember anything more, but they have heard and found nothing of Jack.

He's about to call Kit over and tell her they need to take a break, but she's already gone from her last position. Aside from the fact that she needs sleep, he needs a break before he loses the will to live. The surroundings might be amusing to him in another time and place, in fact they have been and will be, but at the moment he just needs to get away from everything around him. He needs solitude. He needs Rose. She hasn't contacted him since they arrived and he's not going to deny that it worries him. However, he pushes those thoughts to the back of his head. He can't lose his focus now.

He glimpses Kit briefly and starts to move towards her. She's worrying him, which is the last thing he needs - another worry. He hadn't noticed before, but the further he thinks on it, the more he worries about his new companion. Over the last week or so, she's been sleeping a lot less. He's heard her moving about the ship at unlikely 'times', she's always trying to fix things, always up for a new adventure, and, at the moment, throwing everything she has into finding a man and woman she's never even met. Alone those things don't merit more than a thank you, but he's noticed how skittish she's been at times, he's seen the trancelike state she slips in and out of, and, more than that, he's seen the look. When she thinks he's not paying attention to her, her guard falls and he sees it; the blinding terror behind her eyes that's so striking it even terrifies him, a nine hundred year old Time Lord, the only survivor of a dead race.

"Watch it!"

His attention zones in on the voice instantly, like a homing beacon. He spots Kit ahead of him, looking at the person that knocked into her in askance. "You're the one who knocked into me, you stupid git!"

"Really, sweetheart, if you'd wanted to touch me, all you had to do was ask."

"Oh, please, do you actually think you're being suave?"

"Darling, I _know_ I am."

"Don't you darling me, you-"

Whatever Kit's about to say can wait as the Doctor pushes between them. He's not even sure if he's really seeing things right. Has he just patched the image he _wants_ to see on something else? A moment passes and he knows its right. They men grin at each other before hugging tightly. It's definitely real. They're laughing in relief and the Doctor doesn't even try to hide his happiness when Kit's voice breaks over the music.

"No. Ugh, please tell me this smarmy git isn't Jack."

"Sorry to disappoint you, Kit," the Doctor says, pulling back. "But this is him in the flesh."

"You'd better believe it. And if you want to see _more _of the flesh, sweetheart, just let me know." Jack says with a wink.

"Not even in your dreams, wiseass."

He smirks and looks back at the Doctor. "I can't believe you came back for me." There's a beat and Jack frowns. "You did come here for me, right?"

"Yes, Jack, we came here for you."

"But we changed our minds."

"Kit," the Doctor says warningly, not even turning to look at her. "You all right?"

"I'm not sure. Do you know who Rose is? Because until about a week ago, I didn't. Now, she's everywhere and, pretty as she is, I can't figure out if she's real or not."

"She's real."

"Right," Jack says grimly. "And I'm guessing she didn't leave by choice."

"Got it in one."

"So, I'm guessing a rescue mission is in order." Jack says with a nod and the Doctor agrees. "I may need to partake in a little ass kicking as well. Something with _big_ guns."

"Overcompensating?" Kit asks with a sugary voice.

"Sweetheart, I'd need gun barrels to be overcompensating."

"You're disgusting."

"You're annoying." He turns back to the Doctor. "Where did you pick her up? And more to the point, why?"

"You know, you two sound like an old married couple." The glares make the comment worth it. He smirks. "Come along, children, we've got a rare flower to find. And if you play nice, we might stop for ice cream."

Jack grins and follows them out of the club. "I always wondered why I left you." He looks serious for a moment. "I really couldn't figure it out. Why would I choose _this place_ over you?" The Doctor grins and Jack smiles at him. "I mean, if you and Rosie ever want to come _back_ here and indulge in a little, you know what, then fine. But alone? Not so much fun."

"I doubt you were along for long, Jack," the Doctor says, smirking.

"Well, there's only so much gratification from gorgeous, horny strangers a guy can…am I actually saying what I think I'm saying?" Jack frowns. "I think they took more than my memories."

"It's good to have you back."

Jack smiles. "It's good to be back. There is one thing I want to know, though. I still don't understand why we were allowed to remember each other at all," Jack says softly, still looking at him as if he's about to disappear. "I mean, I remember being on the TARDIS with you and then leaving, although they never could make the reason sound right in my head. I mean, why let us remember at all?"

"Simple. They underestimated how much we meant to each other."

Jack grins. "Well, that was just stupid."

"Wasn't it just."

"You know what I think?"

"You think?" Kit mutters, but they both ignore her.

"I think it's time we found Rosie."

The Doctor's smile fades and he nods. "I couldn't agree more."

Jack nods and their strides get more determined. All that matters is finding Rose…which is why neither of them notice Kit's eyes glaze over as she staggers to keep up.

xxxxx

**End of Part Eight**

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I couldn't help myself! I had to have some Doctor/Jack-ness in there! g Hope you're still liking! Go on, review, you know you want to… ;)


	10. What Would You Do?

**WhoFAN: **I'm flattered that you've graced me with your first review. Thank you. Hope you continue to enjoy :)

**Brownie Points to YamiKITG for the perfect title explanation ;) You can choose the POV for the next chapter, if you like!**

**Thanks again for all the reviews, I love you all to bits!**

**Okay, I'm jumping on the TARDIS bandwagon, mainly because I need to explain a few things and because it was the easiest POV to use for this chapter. Hope you enjoy the new POV.**

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**Part Nine: What Would You Do?**

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"Come on, you know I'm gorgeous."

I can hear them before they enter, but I felt Jack's presence the moment we arrived on this planet and it's nice to have him home. I know he can barely feel my presence, but he hasn't spent the same length of time on me as the others have, even Kit. I don't think the Doctor even realises how long she's been with us; in fact, I know he doesn't because I can see the patches in his memory, just as I can see them in Kit's. Memory changing is a tricky business, because no being I have ever come across realises just how intricately the heart and mind are linked. The Doctor didn't want to forget our Rose, so it was so much harder for them to erase her. The moment she made contact I was able to help them rebuild things, I was able to help them pull off the patches. But Kit? Her patches are just the same, but she has no one to help remove them. I don't know if I want them removed, I'm not sure any of us do. Even her. I can see beneath the changes and I do not like what I see.

The Doctor pushes a few wrong buttons (he's been doing it for centuries, but I haven't the heart to tell him) and I jostle slightly, trying to right myself. I amuse myself sometimes; I didn't intend for Kit to land on Jack, but it's still funny watching them fumble about. They really are too alike to get along. I always knew that.

"If you wanted put your hands on me, Kitty-Kat, all you had to do was ask."

"It's Kit and if I ever actually _wanted _to put my hands on you I'd have myself committed."

"Flattery will get you everywhere."

"Get over yourself," Kit retorts and I can feel her anger building. I have no idea why she's letting him get to her; she winds the Doctor up the same way.

"How about you get over me." She glares and Jack just smirks. I've really missed Jack! "Come on, admit it, you love me already."

"Oh, wait, you're right, I see it now." I know what she's thinking already and I can read the tone.

"I knew you would."

"Yeah, I can see the words 'smarmy git' tattooed to your forehead. Your pretty boy hair was just covering it up."

"Just wait till you see the word 'stud' tattooed on my-"

"Jack," the Doctor says with a laugh, but I know he hasn't failed to notice Jack's longer locks either. I know he prefers Jack's hair the way it was and I know that Jack does too. I also know the pretty boy remarks will start again the minute we've got our Rose back.

"What?" Jack asks innocently, pouting in a way I know the Doctor finds amusing. So do I. There's something undeniably cute about the man. "I was only playing." Even if he is an intergalactic playboy.

"Go play with yourself," Kit mutters and quickly leaves. I know she wants nothing more than to go to her room, but I can't let her. If she goes there she'll sleep and they don't yet know that that's the last thing she needs.

I give the Doctor a nudge in the right direction, rather I refuse to move and send him the image I saw of Kit as she entered the TARDIS. I might not be able to communicate with him as well as I'd like, but the connection Rose forged through her dreams continues to strengthen my link to all my companions. Especially the Doctor.

He didn't even notice she was behind him and, really, why should he? Kit is programmed over people who are more important to him and I know Kit wouldn't take offence to that, because she knows it too. The Doctor offered her refuge; at least that's how she remembers it, and she had no one else. She'll take what she can get because it's all she has and then she'll move on. So long as she's not consumed by _it_ first. I don't think she's even realised how entwined she is with the Doctor, in fact, I don't even think she realises she knows who Rose is either. I'd give her a nudge, but I'm too afraid to spark off some hidden trigger. She's the key, but I need her and the Doctor to realise that first.

I lead him to the garden (sectioning off a little of myself for Jack, ready to reacquaint myself with the missing part of me) where I've taken Kit. She's pacing and glaring into space, as if she can affix a face to me, someplace to channel her frustration. She knows I'm the reason she's there and I can tell she knows I've seen her 'dreams', even if she herself refuses to see them.

"So, that's Jack?" she says without turning. Her sixth sense is almost as acute as the Doctor's.

"Yeah, that's Jack." I can hear the cheerful indulgence in his voice. He's glad to have jack with him again. Only I can really know how much he's missed Jack and Rose, because even he didn't know. And the silly fool wouldn't take any of my hints. I mean, why else would I continue to drop them off in London at the same place in the same time? Does he think I'm stupid? Faulty landing coordinates, my-

"Any chance we can trade him in for a different model? And yes, model is a key word there," she continues dryly.

"Yeah, he is a bit pretty, but he's Jack." The Doctor frowns and takes a step closer to her. She won't be able to run from him anyway, I'll make sure of that, but I'm glad he's being careful. What he's about to say will hurt her, even if it is the truth. "Jack is not negotiable. He was here first and he should have been here all along, Kit."

It's amazing how much words can hurt and I only get the second hand feel of it.

"I know," she says softly. "I'm just tired."

He nods. "Anything else you want to tell me?"

She looks slightly alarmed at the question; or rather she feels it, her face remains blank. I could hit him for being so blunt, sometimes, but he always seems to know what he's doing.

"Why would there be?"

"Because you're not sleeping, you're barely eating, and to be honest, you look like hell."

"Gee, be a little nicer, why don't you," she says, but she's too tired to even put much feeling behind her words. "I'll be fine."

"TARDIS doesn't think so," he replies. And a few moments later, "And neither do I."

"Then you're both in need of a fine tuning, because you're Kit-o-meter's are out of whack." She rolls her shoulders back, but won't meet his gaze.

"Kit, you said you'd help me and you have…let me do the same for you."

"I can't."

"Can't, or won't?" he challenges.

"You don't want me to."

She pushes past him and, with what I'm feeling from her, I let her go. She's not going to give him anything, not right now. But she's sleepy, so tired that she might…

I've never really liked this sensation; especially with Kit's disjointed memories, but as I float above a forbidding castle, I know it's important that I'm here. She usually pushes me out, but she's too exhausted this time. 

_The ground is covered in tiny, grey stones, but the world around it is so colourful. The entire planet is gorgeous and even the other side of the castle is beautiful, but she's trapped here, with in the grey. It's a punishment, but I'm not sure why. The word 'punishment' is often used here, though. It's so dark, almost as if the happiness and hope is being sucked from my very being…no from Kit._

_There's something strange, though. I remember this place; I remember being here the last time…was this where we lost Rose? I hate that I don't know the answer to that question, but I gave up so much to protect what I could of the Doctor's mind, and Jacks, and our little Rose's, that I lost a part of myself in the process. I'd do anything for my companions, especially these ones because they give the Doctor something that he's never really had before and they gave him back some of that innocence and youth that the war cost him. Even Kit, in her own way, did the same. But she couldn't do it at the expense of the others. Those three are a part of each other, they're a set that can't be broken. But someone tried…_

I'mpushed out with a force I don't expect and I know we jumped through time a little as a result. I'm never this easily unsettled, but there's something coming. Kit knows it, that's why she just awake with a start.

I manoeuvre the corridors to get the Doctor and Jack to where she's lying. When she fell asleep, she actually fell and someone needs to fix that cut on her head; if only it were so easy to fix what's inside. The guilt, the fear, the loathing, the helplessness…

"Kit, what happened."

"Fell."

"Really, we'd never have guessed," Jack says as he helps her to her feet. She doesn't even have the energy to glare at him.

"Can't sleep," she mumbles as they take her to her room. I've moved it close enough and filled the cabinet in her bathroom with everything they'll need.

"We'll give you something for that," the Doctor says as he helps her onto the bed. He can be so dense sometimes.

"No, _can't_ sleep. Don't let me sleep."

He and Jack exchange a glance and I wish I could just shout at them with words they'd understand. Yes, she's a little loopy, but she's still telling the truth.

"Sleeper," she tries again, but I can still sense their confusion. She needs to hit them with something they'll really _listen _to. I send her an image of Rose as she is now, as _I've _seen her. Kit frowns and looks at them.

"Rose's hair's been cut off," she slurs and falls onto the bed.

_She can't sleep!_

They might not understand my words, but my intent sure got to them. They shake Kit awake with great difficulty, but she does eventually wake and look up at them blearily.

"Jack, get a glass of water."

Jack nods and heads into the adjoining bathroom I've placed there. He opens the cabinet above the sink and I'm glad he has the sense of mind to take out the dermal regenerator to fix the cut on her head as well.

"Thanks," the Doctor says as he's handed the glass. A moment later there's an outraged splutter as Kit wipes the water from her eyes. Jack leans forward to fix her head, smirking in amusement. It was quite funny.

"Now," the Doctor says as Jack finishes. "Do you want to tell me what this is all about?"

She looks down. "What?"

"What? Cut the crap, we want to know why the TARDIS almost brained us just because you went for a little shut eye."

"Kit," the Doctor says, crouching down and looking up into her eyes. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I told you, you don't want to know."

"I think you know that's not true."

Kit shakes her head. "What if I don't want you to know?"

"I think you need to me to." He sighs and looks at her expectantly. "I can help you, Kit."

"Can you? Is that what you'd do? Help?" He nods and she shakes her head again. "What would you really do, though? What would you do to find out the truth?" Her voice is even and she's somehow keeping things from me, because not even I know what she's feeling. "What would you do to _me_," she whispers, "if all this – if losing _Rose _- was _my _fault?"

xxxxx

**End of Part Nine**

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This was never really meant to be so Kit-centric, but this story has taken on a life of it's own. I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite the lack of Rose. She'll be back soon, as you can see from the ending there!

Go on, review, you know you want to! ;)


	11. The Web of the Blue Spider

**eeveekitty85: **_I _didn't realise how important Kit would be until I wrote it! Glad you're still enjoying!

**Naitriab:** Kit's future is unsure, but I really can't see her staying around after they find Rose. Assuming everyone makes it out of this in tact, that is… ;)

**Cloudhaven94:** Nine is my Doctor, so no need to worry about that! ;p Thanks for the review.

**Earthdraco:** You wanted more Rose, so here's a Rose POV for you, enjoy! As for Kit, I never intended her to be such a big character, but she's kinda integral to the plot now, so not much I can do about that. On the upside, we're almost done, so not for much longer! ;)

**YamiKITG:** Well, I gave you a Rose chapter. This one's for you, since you didn't choose a POV. Hope you enjoy.

**Chaimera:** Glad you liked the TARDIS. As for her humour, I figure the old girl's been around for so long that if she didn't have a sense of humour she'd be pretty damn bored:p

**GoddessofTwilight:** I'd check google, I have no idea about poisons, sorry.

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, I love you all! mwah!**

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**Part Ten: The Web of the Blue Spider**

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It's twilight once more and outside the sound of nocturnal animals begins to surround her. The sky changes colour, surrounds her dank cell in a blanket of pinks, reds, yellows, greys and blues, and she can't stop a tear from rolling down her cheek, wishing she could see it. Before her the world stretches into a never-ending monochromatic blur of shapes. She's never really appreciated the wonder that colour brings into the world until she's faced with one in desolate shades of grey. It's the latest act of punishment for a crime she hasn't committed. Her only crime has been refusing to love a man she barely knows.

Rose has fallen in love with men before. Sometimes over something as stupid as the way his hair flicks up at the front, causing his cheeky smile to become the focus of his gorgeous face. Sometimes it's over his body, sometimes his laugh, sometimes it's because he's always been there for her. Once, perhaps the truest of all, was because he had promised her time and space. But she can't fall in love because she's forced to; if there's one aspect of her personality they have yet to tear from her, it's her need to remain true to herself.

Sometimes, in the bleakest moments – the ones that are coming more and more often – she thinks he's with her. Deep, deep down she tries to fight against illusion, bit he's all she has to keep going sometimes. The world around her isn't the one she wants, but even it is being taken away piece by piece. When they had cut off her hair she'd had to force herself not to cry, but in the darkness of her cell she had wept; now it seems so trifle. They've begun to take her senses one by one, in an effort to make her change her mind. Her voice, her sense of touch (now she can't even feel the cold), and, the latest, colour. She hadn't even flinched when the laser had grazed her eye, wouldn't even have noticed it was there had she not seen it. She had watched as the angry red light drifted into a strong grey…and that was when her world had changed once more. Without colour she finds it so much harder to remain positive, so much harder to remember the hope that she's keeping inside; the hope that her Doctor is coming.

There's a noise outside her cell. It's only 21 walking past on her nightly rounds, but nothing's amiss; Rose is still in her cell, guarded by 18 and 12. Only two guards. It's less than usual, but Agnon is feeling gracious at the birth of another child and she's actually happy for him. Not because he has another child, but because she's had a reprieve. Her voice was returned to her the day after the birth in an effort to 'show good will and, perhaps, encourage her to change her mind'. He wants her to be thankful to him, instead she feels all the more angry at knowing what he's taken away, what he will take away again the next time she's brought before him to say 'no'.

She feels a strange sensation and turns her gaze to the corner of the cell beside the window and smiles, because there he stands. He crosses the room until he's next to her and slips his hand into hers with an almost reverent look on his face.

"Why so sad, Doctor?" she asks with a frown. Her Doctor isn't meant to be so sad. She hears a muttering in the corridor, but ignores it. She's long got used to the twitters of the concubines when she talks to him, but they don't know when he's there. He has a way to hide in plain sight; he's only there for her.

"Are you here to get me out?" she whispers. It's the question she asks every time he visits, but he never answers her. Instead, he grins. Not an ordinary grin, but the one that's filled with mischief and promises adventures until the end of the world and then some. She always manages to push her questions to the back of her mind and let him show her the universe.

Sometimes they visit worlds filled with water, sometimes desert, once they even went to an ice world, which she had dubbed Hoth. It had surprised her that he'd understood the reference almost as much as he was surprised by her knowledge of Star Wars – well, she hadn't dated Mickey for that long and come out learning nothing, even if it was useless trivia. Used to win her some nice bottles of wine at the local pub quiz.

Occasionally she follows a faint thread spun by a blue spider and she thinks she truly sees him in all his glorious colour. She thinks she sees him fixing things, thinks she sees him frantically looking through charts on the blue spider. Then Jack came back and sometime she thinks sees him smiling at their friend. Sometimes she sees them talking and sometimes she sees him with some girl she doesn't know, but somehow remembers. But she always lets go when he turns to her, because she doesn't want to lose that; somehow that's more real than this man before her.

She gazes into his eyes, but hates that she can't really see them. They look dull and grey, reflections of her own no doubt, and she hates it. He's filled with every shade of grey she's ever seen, but he's meant to be filled with excitement and colour. His eyes change with his moods and his moods change with every passing second. She loves it. She hates that she can't see it. Pushing those thoughts aside she watches as that grin fills his face. It doesn't make up for what's missing, but she'll take what she can get.

"Where to today then?" she asks, echoing his expression.

"Anywhere you want, Rose."

"Anywhere?"

He nods. "Anywhere in time or space."

"Then I'd like to go home." His expression falls and the world comes rumbling down. "Why are you doing this to me?" she whispers, defeated.

"I'm not," he replies, shaking his head. He looks so lost and desolate that she wants to cry until her face is all red and blotchy, as if she's just sung five Celine Dion songs, downed four bottles of wine and done a fairly good impression of Bridget Jones on a bender. Only this is worse, because she's never had pain this bad in her life, not before him. She doesn't blame him, it's the way life gets, she assumes; the better your life gets the worse it gets, because when things fall apart there's so much more to lose.

"Why are you doing this to me?" she repeats.

"Rose, you're doing this to yourself."

He smiles sadly once more and disappears. Walking back she doesn't stop until her back hits the wall. She slides to the floor, but she has no more tears to cry. She doesn't want to cry. She wants her anger back.

That tingling sensation at the back of her mind has returned and she follows the threads that are waiting for her. She long ago stopped listening, because she couldn't stand the 'busy signal' any longer. The TARDIS is her link to him, but even now that world seems like a dream. When Agnon had first allowed her to drink from the goblet she hadn't wanted to, she hadn't trusted him. If he hadn't been called away urgently to greet his new son, she had no doubt that the link she now shared with the Doctor would have been his, would have been used as another punishment, another way to drive her to insanity until she agreed to be his. She smiles, remembering the way the Doctor had looked at her in surprise after he had finished up the drink she had offered him. The connection was theirs. Of course he had noticed it first, but she's the one that has learned to control it. She had to learn, because its all there is keeping them together. The connection they each share with the TARDIS strengthens it, that she knows, but she likes to think that maybe, just maybe, they share a special bond that keeps it strong as well.

"Rose?" 

_She blinks and looks up at him, smiling. "Where are you taking me this time, Doctor," she says._

"_Taking you?" he frowns. "Rose I'm trying to find you." _

_He looks around them and it's then that she realises she's still in her cell. It must all be another dream then; another illusion that she's created to keep him with her; another small step on the road to insanity. It's a road she'll willingly take if it means he'll be with her. He talks differently to the illusion, he speaks with passion that her pretend Doctor lacks, because she herself has no passion left. He even looks scared. But he can't be real._

"_Where to, Doctor?"_

"Rose, why is everything black and white?" 

_She looks at the ground and sits, but he follows her down, crouching before her. _

"_Agnon took it from me," she replies, somehow feeling as if she's telling her mum about the time Stacey took her Barbie doll. She'd just picked it up and refused to give it back, dangling it in front of Rose like a carrot on a stick. She'd seen that once in a Mario Brother's cartoon. They'd wanted to get the donkey to move. Or was it a horse?_

"_Rose! Snap out of it!"_

_She frowns. He never talks to her like that, her illusion. He's always playful, always smiling. "Why aren't you smiling, Doctor? We should go somewhere sunny. We could get chips?"_

"_Rose, you need to listen to me. We're coming, okay? We found Jack and we're on our way. As soon as we can get Kit to remember everything, we're coming for you, do you hear me?"_

_Rose frowns. "Kit?" she muses. "I forgot you liked cats."_

"_No, Rose! You need to stay strong, can you do that?" He looks at her intensely and she can almost see the colour in his eyes. "Can you do that for me?"_

"_I'd do anything for you," she says softly, reaching for him. She traces his face with the tips of her fingers, but still, even in this dreamland, she feels nothing. "My Doctor."_

"_My Rose," he replies, his hand echoing her movement. _

"_I wish I could feel you. I wish I could see your eyes, but he took it away from me."_

"_And he will give it back and I will make him pay for _everything_ he has done to you. _Everything_." _

_She's only ever seen him look this way once before. The dalek. Someone has hurt her and he wants to hurt them in return. Snippets of colour appear around her and the scene changes. They're on the TARDIS and the greenish hue is almost penetrating her eyes, the faint echo of his touch still lingering on her cheek. That's when she realises something. She's not in control this time. He is and he can see and feel everything._

"_Doctor?" she asks, trying so hard to quell the hope surging inside her. She knows she'll break if it's not real, she can't trust, not yet._

"_I'm here."_

"_Are you really?" she asks desperately._

"_Really," he confirms._

"_And you found Jack?"_

_He nods. "We found Jack and we're coming for you."_

"_Who's we?" She looks around. He's showing her the TARDIS the way it is now, the blue spider that links them to each other, no matter where they are. Blue spider; that was the name of the drink that gave them their connection. It didn't taste very nice. A little like aniseed. She doesn't like aniseed very much._

"_Rose! Focus!"_

"_Who is she?" Rose asks, watching the brunette enter the room, Jack following her. They don't look very happy, but that just makes her laugh. "She didn't fall for Jack's charm?"_

"_They fight like cats."_

"_Maybe they'll make up like dogs," she replies slyly, causing him to scrunch up his face at the visual she has supplied. "Heard that in a film once, I think." _

"_Kit knows something about where you are," he says, bringing her attention back to him. It's so hard for her to focus. Every day she finds her thoughts more scattered than the day before. _

"_I've seen her somewhere."_

"_She's trying to remember, but she's scared. That much I do know." The Doctor sighs. "We will find you."_

"_Promise," she asks and her bottom lip wavers. "Because I don't know how much longer I can stand this. I think I'm going mad."_

"_You are the strongest person I've ever met, Rose Tyler. You're even more stubborn than you mother." She smiles at him and his grip tightens on her arms, although when they got there, she's not sure. "Please, Rose. Hold on."_

"_To what?" she asks desperately. _

"_To me."_

"_I already am," she whispers. "But I think I'm losing you."_

The cell door connects loudly with the wall and she jerks awake. She grimaces as the kinks in her neck make themselves known. 12 stands in front of her, the barely thin, scant material barely concealing anything. The red headed woman holds herself high, but Rose knows she would break if she took that life. But she doesn't have to. Her Doctor is coming. She only hopes he's coming quickly, because she's thinks she's falling off the edge of the web.

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**End of Chapter Ten**

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Okay, don't hate me! Rose was bound to be going a little insane with all that's been going on with her, I only hope it came across okay.

This one is almost done, people, so feel free to give as many reviews as you can whilst it's still going! Go on, feed that review button!


	12. Once Upon A Time

**Princess Jennifer:** I can't believe I'm almost finished either! Do you realise this is the first fic I've written from start to finish without taking major time off in the middle? Just goes to show the power of reviews and the love I have for this fic!

**Mel:** So glad you like the way I portrayed Rose and that you saw she was strong, despite finally showing some side effects to what she's having to endure.

**Chaimera:** Hah! The 'Jack and Kit go screw in a corner' thing had me laughing! Hee, I think my Kit muse would abandon me if I did that! As for Rose, I won't spoil anything, but will let you into a little secret; whilst some of my fics do end badly, I love a happy ending, even if it's sad and just filled with hope for the future.

**YamiKITG:** blush - no bowing required, but thank you so much for your review!

**I'm a little disturbed that you all think I'm insane! But insanely (heh) pleased that you loved the way I write insanity. :) Thanks for the reviews, as always. **

**You guys rock!**

**Authors note: **I've decided to jump back to first person with this one, much like I did with the TARDIS. I've been using third person for The Doctor and Rose but, like with the TARDIS, this one would only write this way. Don't ask me to explain it, because I don't think I could! It's just the way it needed to be written.

Now the POV will become clear as we go on and the reason I chose this person is because it's often the people in the background, the ones we overlook, that have the most information. You all want and need to know what's going on now, but this was the only way I could find that would allow me to give you the information in a way that gave you all the details.

Hope you all enjoy it and, don't worry, we're returning to the main cast in the next chapter. I'm hoping to write Jack next (but only if I can find his 'voice' properly – I won't do it if it's going to be OOC), followed by The Doctor, Rose, the Doctor again and then an epilogue, where I've yet to chose the POV.

Thanks once again for the wonderful reviews, I believe I even threw out a marriage proposal after one of them! ;) You guys rock.

Keep letting me know what you think!

xxxxx

**Part Eleven: Once Upon A Time**

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"_All around the mulberry bush, _

_The monkey chased the weasel. _

_The monkey thought it was all in good fun. _

_Pop! Goes the weasel."_

The words ring round the empty corridors, filling the eerie silence with their childish innocence. The foreign lyrics mixed with subtle melody bring an almost chilling air to the room I'm sitting in. It's strange how much of ourselves we're willing to let go of in order to survive in an easy, uncomplicated existence. I'd never really noticed before just how much I gave up to be here. Not before them. I stopped questioning my reasons and started to look at everything I did have, so much so that I lost myself along the way. A designation, a role in life, motherhood, friendship, safety; somehow asking for more seems irrelevant, but I used to want it all the same.

The room around me is empty; it usually is at this time of night so why it surprises me I'm not sure. The dulcet tones of the library walls usually keep my mind at ease, but the gentle singing of someone I barely know is enough to upset my peaceful existence. To exist…it's something people take for granted. I used to. I can't say that my life before this castle was anything other than fast paced and exciting. It definitely wasn't what one would call reputable by any standards and it lacked meaning and purpose. She's different. The one before her was different and I certainly can't blame either of them for the choices they make. I tried to do the same and I'm not ashamed to admit that I wasn't strong enough. It was the silence that broke the one before, but I can't even say I got as far as this one. I've always been someone who loved to touch, and I don't just mean intimately; just running my hands against the grain of a wall was always enough to make me smile; to feel the little irregularities of what is perceived as perfectly straight, to feel the texture of a beautiful gown, or the roughness of a tree as I scrambled up after my older sisters. I sometime wonder what happened to them.

"_A penny for a spool of thread,_

_A penny for a needle_

_That's the way the money goes._

_Pop! Goes the weasel."_

I'm not entirely sure what it is that compels me to leave the comfort of my arm chair and follow the sound of her voice; perhaps it's just curiosity to learn the meaning of the words, or perhaps it's the overwhelming sense of sadness and lack of hope that's making me want to help her. She's a pretty little thing, small and curvy – although no longer as filled out as she once was. I wish she would eat. I wish that I wasn't the one that has to take her food to her and watch as she _doesn't_ eat it. I wish a lot of things, but I stopped actually wanting them a long time ago. There's no use in wanting the impossible.

Turning the corner, I can see the two 'guards' fast asleep in their chairs. They are two of Agnon's oldest concubines and therefore his most trusted; that I rank high in that chain doesn't fill me with the same sense of satisfaction as the others.

"_Up and down the City Road_

_In and out of the Eagle,_

_That's the way the money goes._

_Pop! Goes the weasel."_

She sitting in the corner by the window, rocking slowly back and forth on her haunches, scratching at the stone wall with her too long fingernails. I remember what she looked like when she arrived here, so vibrant, so full of life. I'd seen it so many times, too many times. She was never meant for this life. I wish I could argue that I wasn't, but I can barely remember who I was back then, so perhaps I'd be lying. She looked the same when I brought her to Agnon yesterday and the day before that, so gradually she became broken and I'm ashamed that I didn't realise it was happening.

She's strong, this one. Stronger than any I've seen in my time here. The one who chose her, her predecessor as number 24, I thought she'd refuse until Agnon gave up. Agnon never gives up, but with her I though he might. The loss of hearing on top of everything else is what broke that girl and that's why I think he remains so adamant with the almost child I see before me. She may be even stronger than the last, but he will wait.

"_Half a pound of tuppenny rice,_

_Half a pound of treacle,_

_Mix it up and make it nice,_

_Pop! Goes the weasel."_

The words are clearly over, but 24 isn't finished. She continues to hum gently under her voice, each gentle sway on her feet adding a strange percussion as her nails continue to scratch at the wall. She hasn't talked to _him_ in a few days now. I used to watch her, fascinated by her ability to imagine him as if he were there; her form of escapism. I used my eldest sister…I can't remember her name now, I can barely remember what mine once was. I am 8. That's my designation, my place in the order of things. When I am too old to continue in my duties another will be called. It's supposed to give us a sense of order, a place within the universe. It does, I suppose. I have four children that barely know me, but they are something I can claim as my own.

"Doctor?"

Her voice startles me from my reverie and I glance at her again. She's staring at the corner of her cell that I'm standing nearest to. It's the first I've heard her address him since her quiet statement those few days ago when I first went to collect her. She looked up at me with those soulful eyes of hers, and I had to pretend I couldn't see the dullness caused by the lasers, and said, "he's coming for me." It's the last thing I heard her say until now. I actually thought that Agnon had removed her voice again, but it seems 18's favouring him with a son gave the young girl more of a reprieve than I had originally suspected.

She's spotted me and resumed her humming, but I feel compelled to go to her. Something tells me that I don't want to leave her alone or she will break…I don't want this one to break. Perhaps it's my way of saving myself in a sense. She had a life of hope and passion and, dare I say, love. Her adamant belief that he's coming for her is both her saving grace and the one thing that's condemning her to insanity. The brunette that chose her had no one to find her, all she had was her strength , this one has her hope of rescue and it adds to her formidable strength, but every shadow is her saviour, every sound is his arrival and I don't know how she survives it.

I remember this man, her 'Doctor'. I remember both of them; one impish and full of life, yet soulful, as if his entire existence hung on his two companions, because all else was lost to him; the other, beautiful and charming, but filled with love and compassion for his friends. The trio was complete only with the woman she once was. I hope they do find her, I hope that inside she still exists. Someone should be able to break free of this life. It won't be me, but I hope it's her. I hope she escapes to a better life than the other; one without memories that aren't her own.

"What's your name?"

I'm startled by her voice, not so much that she's spoken but that she's speaking to me. Without really thinking, I unlock the barred door and walk towards her. Slowly I sit beside her and am unnerved by her penetrating gaze. This is one of her moments of clarity, the moments where she knows both who she is and why she's here. They continue to get further and further apart, but I prefer them to the lies. I have enough lies in my life already.

"I am 8."

She looks at me strangely for a moment, as if she's trying to figure me out.

"Can't you remember your name?" she asks curiously. "I'm Rose."

I nod, but don't reply. To vocally acknowledge her as anything other than 24 is not permitted, but in silence I can, perhaps, save one small part of her dignity.

"Tell me," she says with a frown, "tell me why I'm here."

"You were chosen. The Act of Substitution was brought into effect."

"What's that?" she asks.

I want to answer her. I want so much to explain to her, but how do I tell her this without letting her know I am to blame? Perhaps she deserves to know. I answered this question once before and it resulted in the broken girl before me. I'm not sure I can do it again. I don't think I can condemn another soul to this. Can I really watch as she's torn apart piece by piece?

"Please."

It's the pleading. Or perhaps it's because she reminds me of someone. Someone I thought I'd lost long ago.

"My eldest sister's name was M'Riyan," I say softly. "She had hair of gold and eyes like the sea."

"I used to look like that." She smiles, but it wavers a little. "But I can't remember colour. I remember me mum used to take me to the beach when I was little. It was her favourite place. She said I was like the sea and the sand."

Her moment is fading.

"I followed the blue spider again, but I can't find my way. Will you help me?"

"I cannot tell your future, but I can help with your past." She used to remember this, I rationalise, so telling her again cannot be so much of a sin. "I can tell you a story. Would you like that?"

"Yes," she says with childlike glee.

I can only hope that if she remembers, she will forgive. I was told this story once and it didn't help me get out of here, but it did hep me understand something about why I was there. I hope it can help her more.

"Once upon a time, there was a castle on a hill. The castle was very majestic, it looked like a child's dream come true. Now inside this castle live a large family; there was a mother and a father and sixteen children. There were eleven little boys and five little girls and all of them were loved very much. Now the castle on the hill was a place of power and the man of the house was looked up to and loved by those who called him 'King'. But every story has its share of evil and in this story it was another man from a far away land known as 'Emperor'."

She settles back against the wall, still listening avidly and I smile. This is how I wish it was with my children, but I need to keep reminding myself that wishes don't always come true.

"Now the Emperor was a ruthless man, but his people loved him all the same. One day, he spotted the castle on the hill and wanted it and its people to rule for himself. The King, however, would not surrender and a vicious war broke out among the people of the two nations. One night, not long past midnight, the castle walls were breached and the poor King and his family were killed. The Emperor took his place on the throne and his years of ruling both lands began.

"What the Emperor did _not _know was that the younget child, the littlest boy of the family was a child who loved to play hide and seek. By the age of four he had discovered many hidden passages within the palace and, on the night the Emperor came, he was hidden away in the walls of his home. He was unknowingly spared. The King's people had remained loyal, despite their new ruler, and the servants, without the Emperor's knowledge, raised the child in his father's image. The boy grew into a powerful young man and, one day, he challenged the Emperor. After telling who he was, he went on to defeat the Emperor and take back what had once been his father's.

"In memory of his parents and the wonderful first four years of his life, the boy wished for nothing more than a castle full of children, for a family he could call his own. From all around the land cam beautiful women whom he charmed and loved and raised children with. But, sometimes, he wanted more. He had grown up to fight and his adventurous spirit still lived inside him, so, once day, when some travellers came by, he found challenge in wooing the youngest woman of the group; a mere girl on her first adventure away from home. She had left her home and her parents and sisters to find adventure and, so she thought, love. She agreed to marry the man and return to his castle."

"Did they live happily ever after?" Rose asks and I want to say that they did.

"They lived. The woman was one of many wives and her four children were small within the numbers of others. But never think that the man does not know them and love them. He cares for each child and loves them all as if they were the only one."

"But the woman," Rose asks, far to perceptive for her own good, or perhaps just mine. "How do you live?"

I smile at her. "I lived for adventure, but I wanted love."

"Does Agnon really love you?"

"In his own way, I believe he does."

"What about me?"

I sigh. I cannot continue this without betraying my part in it. She figured out my part already and I don't know if I want to tell her more.

"Please," she pleads softly, "finish the story."

I nod. What else is there to do? "One day, the man believed he had truly fallen in love. But this woman was also a traveller and she did not wish to give up that life. The man pleaded and promised and did all he could, but the woman would not stay. His need to love had grown to desperation and so he locked the woman in a room and, every day, he would visit her, asking her to change his mind. After years of persuasion, each more desperate than the last, the woman begged him to release her and, at the sight of his beloved being so broken, he agreed. But on one condition. The woman had to agree to a substitute. He had hope that she would be persuaded not to put her own life above another's. So, he went down to the village and chose the prettiest girl he could find…the pretty girl was on her way to be married.

"Thinking that his beloved could not place the girl in a situation where she would be forced to marry a man other than the one she loved, he made his beloved choose. Driven to near madness by his years of persuasion, she looked the pretty girl in the eye and said, 'I'm sorry'. She chose to leave and let the girl take her place."

There's a silence in the room. She seems to be taking it all in and I hope she understands why I don't want to go on. But I doubt she's sure at this point.

"You-you said that's why I'm here."

I nod, resigning myself to the fact that I must continue. "The girl that was left in her place was so young, barely a woman. She was not of this world, but had come exploring and fallen in love with a local boy who would never challenge his King, even for true love. She denied Agnon as her predecessor had. She denied him longer than anyone could imagine. Then, one day, when there was so little of her left, so little of her that I was no longer sure she still existed in the hollow shell of her body, I told her a story. I told her _this_ story…"

Rose nods and tears begin to spill over her cheeks. "And she chose me."

I shake my head. "No, Agnon chose you. He chose a fiery girl that was so much like the young woman she had once been. He chose you because he thought she couldn't allow the same to happen to you, but he forgot one thing. He forgot that she didn't remember who she had once been. You were a prize unlike any he has ever had. He values beauty and diversity. Your likeness to the sea and the sand, Rose," I say, her name sounding foreign on my lips, "that's what made it okay for him to have lost this time. He gave the girl new memories, he returned her name…"

"And he gave her my Doctor."

She doesn't need me to answer that. Although, how she knows I'm unsure. I didn't think she remembered anything from that far back.

Hearing movement from the hallway outside, I stand, leaving Rose to think about what I've just told her. Perhaps she'll abandon another to her fate, as was done to her, perhaps it will give her the strength to accept Agnon…or perhaps it will give her the strength she needs to hold onto until her Doctor arrives. For her sake, I hope he does.

I glance at her once more, the cropped blonde hair beginning to fall once more into her eyes as it grows, she looks more like my sister than ever. I always wanted M'Riyan's beautiful locks, but was cursed with the colour of fire…like my temper, my father used to say. I haven't thought of my family in so long, but it has reminded me of how much I valued it. Perhaps I should visit my own children.

Maybe I did this for her, but I think, deep down, I also did it for myself. I hope her Doctor saves her, maybe it'll save a little part of me as well.

"What's your name?"

The words float gently behind me and I turn to her as I close over the cell door once more. She seems to want to know and I think I do as well. I think I want to remember just a little bit more, maybe then I can reclaim a small piece of the woman I once was.

"Y'Lana," I whisper, and that's when I know I was right to tell her. No one should have to be a stranger to themself.

"Thank you, Y'Lana," she replies. "I might not get to say goodbye, but I can still say thank you for helping me. My Doctor's coming."

"I hope he is, Rose," I say as I give her one last look. As I turn towards the children's wing I wonder if I'll ever see her again. She's singing once more, but her voice is stronger and the words less heartbroken.

"_All around the mulberry bush, _

_The monkey chased the weasel. _

_The monkey thought it was all in good fun. _

_Pop! Goes the weasel."_

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**End of Part Eleven**

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Well, I hope that has answered all of your questions! I will be returning to the main characters next, as I mentioned in the opening note. Until then, I hope this was okay!

Oh, and if you lot are all humming Pop! Goes the Weasel for the rest of the night, welcome to my world. It's driving me mad, too!

Please keep up the reviewing, it's doing wonders for my muses! ;p


	13. Breaking Point

**Woof:** Okay, wow, thank you! So glad you're joining us and thanks very much for the review.

**Rainbow:** Constructive criticism is great, but that doesn't mean I don't like begin told that you're enjoying the story as well. Thanks!

**Princess Jennifer:** LoL! Well, here you go, it might make you stop shouting obscenities at Kit, but we'll see.

**Dante Reaver:** How did I think of it? Just my genius coming into effect:p Hah, glad you're enjoying.

**Chaimera:** I'm not convinced this is the kind of position you wanted me to put Kit and Jack in, but hopefully you won't mind it so much.

**LilCosette: **Pull up a pew! Glad you decided to join us. Thank you so much for your review and I'm so glad you're liking the fic.

**Earthdraco:** I like your ideas about the nursery rhyme. That's the gist of what I had in mind, but I also think it's got a really creepy tune and I thought that added to Rose's mental state.

**Thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed. I'm at just under 200 reviews and am completely gob-smacked. You guys ROCK!**

**Notes: **Okay, so this is another Kit centric chapter, but it _is_ from Jack's perspective. I know some of you aren't all that keen on original characters, but, as you may recall, Kit holds the key to the Doctor and Jack finding Rose, so she has to be involved to a certain extent.

**WARNING:** This chapter content is particularly dark. I had no intention of going in this direction, but it happened. It involves content that some people may find offensive. You have been warned.

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**Part Twelve: Breaking Point **

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There's an ominous sound coming from the TARDIS and it instantly spurs him into action. He's not sure what he's supposed to do, but he knows he has to do something. The corridors are realigning themselves before his eyes and it takes him by surprise to find that all routes lead to a door he has never seen. He frowns before knocking, but quickly deduces that he's going to get no reply.

Opening it slowly, a hand on his pistol – even though he knows that TARDIS would never lead him into unknown danger without warning – and his eyes alert, he walks into the room. There's minimal lighting, but even with that he knows instantly where he is; this is Kit's room.

The Doctor has told him what he can about Kit over the last few days; her quirky sense of humour (Jack has his doubts that there's anything that isn't irritating about her, though), her innuendo (why she refuses to rise to his he has no idea), and her bizarre love of interior décor. Her room reflects the latter quite assuredly.

He takes a moment to glance around. Instantly he finds a calming presence in the dark red walls, covered in rugs and hangings from various planets across the universe, the mirrored cupboards, the scent of incense in the air, the candles scattered about, and the plush bedding.

_Wouldn't mind taking that for a spin,_ he thinks with a wide grin, before sobering and scanning his surroundings for something amiss. He knows that the TARDIS has a sense of humour that sometimes baffles him, but he also knows a call to arms when he hears one. The TARDIS wanted him here for a reason and he knows has to act quickly.

Spotting an ajar door in the corner, he moves quickly towards it, but instantly wishes he hadn't. Parts of the small bathroom are also decorated in red, but this isn't paint. It's blood. Kit's blood.

"You stupid, stupid kid!"

He quickly kneels down, gently lifting her head from the awkward position it's lying in against the side of the tub. He knows she's naked, wet from a bath, but he can barely see anything but the vivid red liquid covering most of her body.

He picks her up and turns, carefully manoeuvring her from the bathroom and races as quickly as he can to the hallways. The TARDIS hears his prayers and the route to the Doctor's makeshift medical room is short. He's had battle training, but he wasn't prepared for this. He's seen soldiers take their own lives and he's seen it in various horrific ways, but there was always a difference. He'd never felt as if he was to blame before.

"Don't you dare die on me," he says as his training kicks in. He begins to do what he can to stop the bleeding. Her eyes are sluggish and her pulse weak, but she's alive for the moment. "The Doctor will never leave me alone with you again if you kick the bucket," he says, needing to speak even though his humour is falling flat.

He hopes the TARDIS has the Doctor running back to them quickly, but he can't waste time praying for the older man to return. He knows what to do and, thankfully, he's doing it as if it's second nature to him.

"Please."

The whisper sounds louder than a horn blast. He turns to see her eyelids flickering in his direction.

"Don't make me go back."

She's barely able to form the words without choking on tears.

His fault.

The two words refuse to leave his head. He never meant any harm, but he pushed. He pushed her because she holds the key to Rose. He pushed too hard.

"_Hey, wait up."_

"_Leave me alone, Jack."_

_He glares as he approaches her. "Hey, I have an idea, why don't you tell us where we can find Rose, we'll dump you on the nearest planet, and _then _I'll leave you alone."_

"_Oh, I have an idea; piss off." _

_She pushes past him, continuing down the corridors of the TARDIS, but refuses to let her leave._

"_The Doctor might be willing to let you _'remember'_ on your own time, but I'm not an idiot Kit, you know where Rose is and you _are _going to take us to her."_

"_Leave. Me. Alone."_

_He spots the tears in the edges of her eyes, but he doesn't care. She's holding them back. Rose's life is at stake. The Doctor's losing her, the TARDIS is losing her, and Jack feels as if he lost her a long time ago. He wants her back._

"_Rose is worth ten of you. She wouldn't care if it hurt, she'd help us find you if the situation was reversed." Kit stops walking and he knows he's hit the mark. "And you know it."_

"_Well, maybe I'm not as strong as she is," she replies, but doesn't turn around._

"_Or maybe you're just being selfish."_

_This time she does turn. "Selfish? Selfish! You have no idea what I've been through! I could barely remember myself until recently and I _don't want _to remember."_

_Jack sighs and takes a step towards her. "Kit, I know what it's like to lose-"_

"_No, Jack, you _don't._ You don't know and you just don't get it! You don't know what it's like for them to take away your touch, or your eyes, or your hearing. You don't know what it's like to be forced to walk around naked in crowds, or to have to spend every day remembering why it is that you're there; because the one person you thought loved you more than anything else in the universe refused to try; refused to stop it because he had more fear of his King than love for his fiancé. You don't know what it's like to be alone in a sea of people, naked, stripped of everything; your dignity, your senses, _everything_! I had _nothing_. I barely knew who I was. All I knew what to think, and say, and feel was the word 'no' and I didn't even remember why. _

"_He offered me a way out, a way to _not _remember and I took it. I took it because I wanted it to end. I couldn't even kill myself because how could I even attempt it? I couldn't see, hear, feel, smell, or speak. There was nothing but 'no'. I'd said it so many times that when he offered me a way out all I could think was that I didn't want to say, 'no' any more. So I said 'yes'. _I_ didn't choose Rose, he did. I didn't choose to be given her life, he did. But it was still my fault and you're asking me to remember that. You're asking me to remember that I destroyed someone the same way someone else destroyed me and I'm sorry if I don't really want to do that."_

"_You have to."_

"_But that doesn't mean I want to, Jack."_

_He watches as she turns from him and continues to walk away. This time he lets her. He only hopes that she realises that the world of pain that she just described is what Rose is living through right now…he hopes she's strong enough to survive it. Because what Kit's talking about it torture and he wouldn't wish that on anyone…especially their Rosie._

"Kit, can you hear me?"

She mumbles slightly and her shoulders lift off the table as she attempts to move. A moment later, her eyes open and focus on the Doctor.

"Well, that was pretty stupid," he says, his eyebrows indicating humour, but Jack can see the worry slowly easing from his brow as she offers him a faint smile.

"I wanted to bring a bit of life to my bathroom," she says with morbid humour and he chuckles, but Jack fails to see the funny side of it. She tried to kill herself and, despite the fact that he's sorry for the pain she's going through, no one seems to be thinking that Rose is going through the same things Kit's reliving in her memories. Kit can't handle it…what if Rose can't either.

Finally, she sits, amidst the Doctor's protests, and turns to look at him. Her eyes are dull and he hopes that Rose's don't ever look that sad. It's bad enough that hers do and she's not as important to Jack as Rose is.

"I'm sorry," he says softly as the Doctor slips out of the room.

She frowns. "Why are you sorry?" He doesn't answer, but she seems to understand why. "Surprisingly enough, Jack, this wasn't about you. I could make some crack about the world not revolving around you, but something tells me the impending argument about _that_ isn't at the forefront of your mind." He doesn't smile. "Jack, this was about me."

"No, Kit, that's what you don't get, this is also about-"

"Rose, I get it," she says spitefully. "If I die, you have no way to find your precious Rose." He makes to interrupt her, but she continues. "I left all the information you need in the TARDIS, Jack." She gives him a moment to take in the information. "I might be selfish and you might hate me, but, whatever you think, I do care. It's my fault she's there and even if it wasn't, I happen to like the Doctor. He loves Rose and I wouldn't keep her from him for anything in the universe because he's been through enough and he deserves to be happy."

The room falls into silence and Jack sighs, running a hand through his hair. He hears a slight chuckle and looks up to see Kit looking at him amusedly. He looks down and understands why; the TARDIS had interrupted his shower when she had alerted him to find Kit, so his towel was all he was wearing.

"Want a peek?" he asks with a wink. Her look implies that she definitely doesn't and he chuckles. "You're wounding my pride here, Kit."

"You'll get over it," she says. "Maybe one day you'll even get over yourself."

"You know you want me."

She doesn't reply, but he's not stupid enough to think that it's anything to do with his last comment. The girl just tried to kill herself and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to handle that. He barely knows her and he doesn't exactly like her, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care whether or not she lives or dies. She seems alone as she sits in front of him, covered in the warm blanket he found in one of the room's many cupboards. She also seems so young.

"Don't ever do that again." His words are soft, but they don't allow for any mistake about whether or not he means them. She looks at him, frowning, but before she can reply he continues. "We might not get along, Kit, but how do you think it feels to see…that?" He can't even say it and he's not sure he wants to. He doesn't want to make it about him, but the image is burned into his mind; no one should have to see pain like that. Or worse yet, feel it.

"Death would have been a release."

"Death's a copout." She looks angry. Good, that's what he wants. He wants her to feel again, wants her to feel something other than pain. Anger's not that much better, but it's strong and it's a start.

"You have no idea what I feel."

"You're right and I won't pretend that I do, but I have seen more death than you could ever imagine. I lost two years of my life as well, two years that I don't know anything about. I have seen people die and I've found people dead before. It's not something I want to experience again. Don't try to pretend like you're the only one who feels pain."

She's silent, looking down at her hands and when she finally looks at him, he thinks he sees something in her eyes. He thinks he sees a small part of why the Doctor likes her. But it's surrounded by fear and pain and he's not sure if she'll ever be able to find that person again. From the sounds of it, he's not even sure if she ever really was that person, not if her memories were fake. Something tells him that she was, though, some part of him just…_knows_.

"I can't go back there."

"You won't be alone, Kit. The Doctor wouldn't let you go through that alone."

"I can't go back," she says again, shaking her head.

"That man will not hurt you again."

"You can't possibly stop him." She smiles sadly.

"Just watch me."

She stares at him for a moment before taking a deep breath and nodding. "Why did you do it?"

"What?"

"Help me."

He frowns at her. "You honestly think I would just _let_ you kill yourself?"

She shrugs. "I don't know anything anymore."

"Yes, you do."

There's another silence, only this time it's not as awkward as before. She slips down from the table, clutching at her blanket. There's a look of determination in her eyes and he's glad to see it. She indicates the door.

"I'm going to go get dressed."

He frowns, not wanting to let her go alone, but knowing that any suggestion otherwise would only be seen the wrong way. He hesitates and she rolls her eyes.

"I've seen enough of my blood for one day, Jack."

He shakes his head. "No. I promise I won't look, but I'm not leaving you alone."

After a pause, she nods and continues. "Okay. We'll go get dressed and head to the control room. I think we've waited long enough." He looks at her hopefully and she nods. "Let's go get Rose."

"Thank you."

She nods and turns, walking to the doorway, but he calls her name making her stop. He's not sure why, but he thinks she needs to hear it.

"He will pay, Rose," Jack says with determination. "He will pay for what he did to you and he will pay for what he's done to Rose."

"I know," she says, nodding slowly. "The Doctor's going to kill him, isn't he?"

Jack doesn't answer directly, but what he says is answer enough.

"Not if I get to him first."

xxxxx

**End of Part Twelve **

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Okay, so next stop we arrive! Only a few more chapters left of this one and it's getting darker by the minute. I had no idea this chapter was going to have anything to do with suicide and I would like to remind people that everyone has their own experiences with depression and that no reaction is the 'right' way to do things, so please don't criticise this one. Not everyone will react the same way.

I hope you're all still following avidly and I would especially appreciate any comments on this chapter, merely because the content is making me all the more nervous about posting it.


	14. Innocence Lost

**Notes: **Writing is something I've always loved, and I've always appreciated that writers must put a part of themselves into everything that they write. However, posting the previous chapter left me feeling despondent, edgy, and something akin to what it must be like to have stood naked before a crowd of strangers. I have never done the latter, but I can only imagine it's the same feeling of exposure and the same anxiety that you won't suddenly be hit by a blunt object for daring to bare yourself in public. The only way I felt I could get over it was to continue to write as soon as possible and, in an effort to maintain some semblance of composure, here is the next part.

**I just want to thank those of you who reviewed the last chapter and thank you especially for your honesty.**

**EDITED BECASE I SCREWED UP THE TENSE ABOUT HALF WAY THROUGH. DOH!**

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**Part Thirteen: Innocence Lost **

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Anger; that's all he can feel. It's pouring through every fibre of his being and he wants revenge. He's not even sure who he's angry at. No, that's not true. He knows he's angry at Kit, for even thinking of doing what she did, he knows he's angry with Agnon, _beyond_ angry in fact, but he's so much more angry with himself. He's angry that he lost Rose, that he _forgot_ her, no matter what caused it; he's angry that he lost Jack as well; and he's angry that he didn't foresee that Kit was so affected by the memories that were resurfacing. Her reaction worries him, which only serves to make him angrier with himself, because the worry he feels is for Rose. He's worried about whether or not she's strong enough to survive long enough for him to get there. He knows what it's like to feel despair, he's lost more than any one of his companions could ever hope to comprehend, but he knows humans and he should have been able to stop all this.

There's a noise from the corridor and he looks up to see Kit and Jack enter the room, both of them now fully dressed. Kit seems uneasy on her feet and if circumstances were different he'd have her confined to her bed…or rather, he'd try to. He knows how stubborn Kit can be. He's not sure what it is about this reincarnation that seems to attract stubborn companions, but he hopes his future self remembers what he's letting himself in for should he chose another.

"How're you doing?" he asks softly.

"I'm alive," she replies and he sighs. "I'll be better when this is all over. I think it was better not knowing."

He nods, but says nothing.

"Sorry we took so long," she continues, swaying slightly and alarming Jack who's standing behind her. She regains her footing and keeps going. Her tone is light, but he knows she's putting it on. "Jack insisted on perving on me while I got dressed."

He almost says 'good, someone had to keep an eye on you', but instead he smiles. She wants to keep things light and that's something the Doctor can understand.

"She spoiled it by making me turn around," Jack replies, but the Doctor can see that his tone is forced.

He can see the effort Jack's making to keep things light. It only makes him realise how bad it must have been; Jack never usually has problems keeping things light and flirty. It's one of the things that made the man so attractive as a companion. The Doctor knows he's prone to moments of melancholy, sometimes he finds it so hard to keep himself going; Jack is the perfect cure. But right now, his companion is floundering and, when Kit sways again, he decides enough is enough.

"Kit, sit down," he finally says. She looks set to retort when she stumbles and is saved only from an introduction with the floor when Jack grabs hold of her. He lifts her up, amidst protests, and sits her on one of the panels of the central control and the TARDIS helps by making it flat enough for her to remain seated.

"Stay," Jack says and turns to join him at the other side. He thinks better of it and, before Kit has even had the chance to reply, he turns back again. "And, for once in your life, please don't argue."

The Doctor is pretty sure it's the 'please' that stops her from saying anything. She nods and he breathes a sigh of relief. He wonders exactly what it was, exactly what memory drove her to do what she did. He knows she'll never confide that in him, but he hopes she's realised that living is the best choice, because he doesn't want to lose another companion. He knows her plans for after they find Rose and he only hopes she decides she wants to stay alive to see them through.

"Stupid," Jack mutters and the Doctor turns to look at him questioningly. With a quick glance to make sure that Kit won't hear him, Jack turns to him. "I called her Rose," he whispers, berating himself. "The girl just about killed herself and I couldn't even get her damn name right."

"She understands." Jack just looks at him. "If she let it slide, then trust me, she understands."

"We can't leave her alone."

He nods. "She needs to face her fears."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"It might be the only thing that'll help her get over this."

The Doctor knows Kit can hear them, but he thinks she needs to realise how much she scared them. The moment he had heard the TARDIS calling him back he had feared the worst, but he wasn't ready to see that. He'd had to leave the room the moment he had realised she was all right; well, as all right as she could be under the circumstances, because as much as Kit means to him and as glad as he is that she's still with them, under all that blood, he kept seeing another face; one matted with blonde hair.

"How long?" Kit asks, breaking into the silence that's fallen, almost as if she needs something to be happening so that she doesn't have to focus what's going on inside her head.

"Nearly there," Jack replies and the Doctor glad that he does, because he doesn't think he could reply.

They're almost there. Rose is almost within reach and somehow that's so much worse. It's worse because he wants time to speed up and it's worse because more than that he wishes he could just go back in time to the point they last saw her and make sure that none of this ever happened. But he can't, because she needs to be the one to call out to him or he wouldn't know who she was right now. Sometimes time is a curse and this, he decides, is one of those times. He knows Kit holds the memories, but he also knows that the only reason she's allowing herself to remember is for him; she's doing it because she knows how much he needs Rose. Kit's not entirely selfish, but she was happy in the delusion that had been created for her and he can understand why she wanted to pretend it was real, even when the memories began to resurface…_especially _when they did.

The TARDIS shudders and his hearts almost stop.

They've arrived.

"We're here," Jack says, rather redundantly, but it needed to be said or the Doctor's not sure how long he would have remained rooted to the spot.

He instantly begins to move towards the door and he's glad that Jack doesn't seem to want to let Kit out of his sight, because he doesn't think he could handle that on top of everything else. The doors open and everything is just _wrong_. The twin suns are shining, the birds are singing, the grass and trees are a vibrant shade of green, and the flowers are in bloom; it makes him want to scream at the injustice of it all, because, somewhere on this too bright planet, Rose is dying.

They walk towards the trees on a route that's becoming more familiar by the second as the wind whips about them in a gently frenzy of leaves. His feet are leading him on a journey that his mind doesn't remember, but is so anxious to finish.

As the trees begin to part, he sees a small village below them and, overshadowing it all: a castle on a hill.

He hears a panicked gasp behind him and turns to see Kit struggling to get away. Jack looks at him imploringly, but he shakes his head. He hasn't got time for this, but Kit is his companion and his friend and he cannot abandon her, but he can make her see what it's costing him.

"Do you see that castle, Kit?" he asks her, barely giving her time to nod. "Well, Rose is in there and she's dying. She's dying because you left her there." Jack looks ready to hit him, but he continues. "You left her there, Kit, but so did I." She frowns and he can see she's about to protest, but he continues, "This _was not _your fault, Kit. I don't blame you, do you understand that? I don't blame you. Rose is _everything_ to me and I don't blame you. Now, _please_, stop blaming yourself so that we can find her, because I'm not leaving you here and the longer we wait, the smaller Rose's chances are. Do you want her to be as broken as you were when Jack found you? Because that's what's going to happen, Kit, and I can't promise you that I won't blame you then."

She's silent for a minute as he regards her.

"Of course I don't want that for her," she replies softly.

He smiles at her briefly and she slips her hand into the crook of his arm as they turn and walk quickly towards the village. Jack follows them barely two steps behind, but he knows the younger man's glad to have been spared a part in that conversation. The closer they get, the tighter Kit's grip on his arm becomes. He spares a glance at her to see that she's focussed on one house alone. There are people about, but they all stop to watch the newcomers with wide eyes. It seems that, although the Doctor and his companions have forgotten, the villagers remember who they are. The closer they get to the centre, the more he realises that it's Kit they're focussing on.

"There's something I need to do," Kit says, coming to a stop. "I know you can't come with me, you need to go get your Rose and I…I need to see someone."

The Doctor nods, but part of him almost feels as if Kit's saying goodbye. He brushes it aside, because he needs to stay focussed and there's no way for Kit to leave this place without them and he knows she couldn't stay here. He turns to Jack who looks torn. "Stay with her," he says decidedly.

"But Agnon-"

"Will pay," the Doctor finishes, placing a hand on Jack's shoulder. "I'm not sure I want any of you to see what happens."

"I'll be there are soon as I can." Jack looks at the castle behind the Doctor, before continuing, "Go. Now."

With a decided nod, the Doctor turns from his two companions and continues alone. He knows it's better this way, because he means what he said; he doesn't want Jack to see this and he doesn't think Kit could handle it. She's about to face the man she has to, the one who betrayed her love; Agnon is his to deal with and his alone. Whilst he'd appreciate Jack's help, he wants to destroy the man in the castle before him and whilst innocent is a word that most people wouldn't dream of using to describe Jack, that's exactly what his companion is to him; innocent. Innocent of the kind of revenge he's after, at least. It's that innocence that makes him who he is and it's part of what makes him mean so much to the Doctor. It's a selfish reason to want the man to retain it, but it's the truth.

He reaches the castle walls in the blink of an eye and is pleased that time seems to be on his side. Once, at a time that seems so long ago, Kit asked him 'how are we going to get in?' This time he isn't planning on knocking; this time he's planning on banging.

Slipping the small device from his jacket pocket, he walks straight to the gates, which seems to surprise the men on guard. It takes a moment of scrutinising him before recognition dawns, but it's a moment too long and they're unconscious before the thought of alerting anyone has fully formed. Placing the small circular device on the gate lock he steps back a few paces, watching, as the intervals of the blinking red light grow shorter and shorter…

"Knock, knock," he says softly and the lock explodes.

The noise clearly alerts them to his presence, but he doesn't care, in fact he wants Agnon to know he's coming. The man's name had fallen from Kit's lips with such fear and loathing that it had brought forth the image in seconds. He might not remember exactly how it happened, but he can picture Agnon and he can picture exactly what he's going to do to him. Oh, he _wants_ Agnon to see him coming, he wants it so that the man has just enough time to watch his life flash before his eyes.

The Doctor gets little pleasure from physical violence, always preferring to outsmart his opponents, which is why he finds it strange to watch detachedly as he makes his way through the castle, disarming guard after guard. Skills he barely remembers he ever possessed come when called and before he is even aware of reaching his destination, he's surrounded by a circle of bodies and staring at the man who took everything away from him.

"Doctor, how…unexpected."

It's a line he's heard often, but he doesn't reply. This is one time he doesn't want to use words; he wants to use pain.

How long the screaming lasts, he isn't sure. He's not even sure when it is that it stops, he only vaguely comes to his senses when quiet sobbing reaches his ears. He listens with a small part of him that isn't focussed on punishment; focuses in on the pitch, the number of breaths per wail, then identifies it. A child.

He abruptly stops and Agnon's limp form drops to the floor. A small child, barely older than about five stands in front of him, her wide brown eyes and wet cheeks looking up at him with accusation. This man was her father…had been her father.

"I…"

Words fail him. What can he possibly say to make this child understand what a monster her father was. Those innocent eyes watched as he… How can he possibly make this child see the horrors that Kit went through, that Rose went through? Those innocent eyes _watched_ him… How can he possibly live with himself…

The silence around him is so heavy he's not convinced he hasn't gone deaf. But then he hears soft footfalls and a hand on his arm.

"You came for her, just as she said."

He rips his gaze from the child to look at a tall red headed woman. Her eyes are filled with tears, but her features show only astonishment at his presense.

"Where's Rose?" he whispers, his voice breaking on her name. "Where' is she?"

"Come," she says softly, glancing for a moment at her fallen husband, then leading him as if he's a child. A child like the one who watched… He turns, but the room is empty save him and the woman beside him. No chance to say sorry, no chance to realise that sorry isn't enough.

"Come, Doctor." The voice cajoles him and he lets her lead him. "She's waiting for you."

So innocent.

They're always so innocent.

It never lasts.

As he's led those final steps towards Rose, he only hopes that, for her at least, it's not true.

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**End of Part Thirteen **

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Thank you once again for your feedback. Rose's POV next...


	15. A Sea of Silence

**A huge THANK YOU to asimus and adkay for their help looking over this.** I was worried that it might be taken as insensitive in relation to the recent destruction of Hurricane Katrina and the subsequent flooding of New Orleans, however I've been reassured that it isn't inappropriate, adkay suggested a slight title alteration and even suggested that I dedicate it instead. I have little else I can offer, so I'm doing just that.

**I just want to give another thank you to everyone out there who has reviewed this fic. Your continuing support and feedback is just wonderful. Thank you very much! **

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**Part Fourteen: A Sea of Silence **

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It feels like water, almost like the sea gently lapping over her face, her mouth, her nose, her eyes; forcing her to gulp at life like a drowning dog. The sensations – wind, dirt, grit – that cling to her face make her feel like scratching at her skin before they pull her in, tug her under and further towards the end. That light at the end of the tunnel (or is it the corridor?) seems to offer reassurance as it calls her forward, testing, beckoning, whispering lies of peace and calm. But she knows they're lies, they have to be lies. That light only ever takes, it never gives.

She remembers something, something once said with a laugh, something once said as a warning, as a teasing, as many things that no longer have meaning to her.

Speak no evil.

See no evil.

Hear no evil.

They got the order wrong, she's sure, but it seems distant and yet almost fitting somehow. She must have been a bad girl for they took away her toys and they keep on taking. Sometimes the boy in the fancy house gives them back to her with a smile that only holds promise that one day he'll take them away again. One day soon. One day when she's not expecting it, when she's just getting used to having her teddy bears back again.

The one with his hands over his ears was taken yesterday and she thinks the others are missing, too, but she's not sure because she can't see in the dark and it's always dark now. The sun is a pretty dream that she remembers in colours that aren't real, because all that's real are shades of grey. She moves her fingers slowly in time to the beat of unheard music, or at least she thinks she does, because she can't tell anymore, not really. She feels like a jellyfish.

_Do jellyfish feel?_

Because she feels like one; no bone, no muscles, not even jelly, really, so perhaps she doesn't feel like one at all.

Sometimes the sea visits her, pulls at her, tugs at her, but she won't let it win, because the sea's nasty. It was her likeness to the sea that made them take her teddy bears. Her mum gave her all the toys she's ever had, but she can't remember her mum either.

Whispers from down the street come unbidden into her mind and let her wonder about the meaning of such words as 'possibility' and 'hope' and, sometimes, even 'happily ever after'. She thinks she once knew what they meant, but the darkness and the silence steal them from her and, even though she can't feel them, the dirt and the sweat and the wind that she knows to be there, surrounding her, continue to pull her under.

_Something's different out there,_ she thinks, _something's happening._

Somehow she knows she's moving. She knows that things around her are changing but she's not sure what or how. A blue spider whispers across her vision and enters her mind, filling her with all the 'happily ever after' it can muster. Slowly she thinks over it, digests it without feeling, listens to it without hearing, talks to it without saying a word, and looks at it without seeing anything at all and, when she's done, methodically casts it aside.

Once more the little blue spider comes to see her and she almost remembers the word 'friendship', but she's not quite sure what it means anymore and so she ignores it as she goes through the motions of trying to remember the 'hope' that the spider gave her as a gift. She doesn't remember 'hope' any more than 'happily ever after'.

Next comes 'possibility'.

Possibility.

It's such a strange word, she thinks, so oddly formed and snake like as it hisses at her. She almost discards it as she has the others, but something makes her want a second look. She remembers what 'want' means, because want is all she does now. She wants 'no' to stop and she wants 'yes' to go away, but she's not sure what the question is.

Somewhere in the midst of analysis, she realises that the motion has stopped; whatever changes are happening around her have taken on a different tone, one of determination. It's also an odd word, but she can only think on one at a time and she chooses to continue with 'possibility'.

The word brings faint promise of a face, memories of a time where the word meant anything she chose for it to mean; it brings her back to sensations of a time she's not sure she remembers or dreams. Time and space echo around her, contort within her; not to her will, because she's no master of them, more that they are her guide. Worlds flash by her in an instant, but nothing is constant, nothing stable, nothing but the same continued promise of possibility that he brings. She wants to follow him, but isn't sure how she can as the world around her continues to change.

Before her now he stands, tall and yet seeming too small inside his shell. He's diminished somewhat, not in _her _mind but in his own. He's standing by her side with a look of mixed 'fury' and 'disbelief' and 'hope' and 'possibility' all in one that 'happily ever after' doesn't seem so far away at all.

She waits for him to fade as he has before, but he continues to stand by her side, slowly coming into sharper focus. She's sure that he's holding her hand and wants to smile, but she can't remember how that works any more or even if it's appropriate, because he seems so sad and broken. She broke her favourite toy once, the doll that used to walk and talk and sing.

He's moving his mouth at her now. Gently and smoothly as if in practiced rhythm with the sensations of his fingers across the back of her hand. Ticklish…she remembers that now. Her fingers are twitching because the palms of her hand are tickly and the gentle brush of the little lines on the pads of his thumb are moving there now. She can feel it at the edges of her mind as she watches him talk in silence.

_Doesn't he know that nothing comes out?_ She wants to ask, but she can't because sound isn't possible. It's a dream she once had about a girl and the boy she loved. They travelled in a little blue box that used to travel the universe beyond the darkness with their other companion. She likes that dream.

"…okay, Rose."

It's soft at first, the gentle murmur of his voice. It's so familiar, but it can't be real. So she reaches out to touch him with fingers she knows she shouldn't be able to control and senses she knows aren't real, not anymore.

She watches with detached fascination, like the man with the pointy ears that Mickey used to watch on the TV, - _Mickey? _– as her hand does as she tells it and reaches out to him. His mouth quirks upward at the end and she remembers…_that's what it is to smile_.

His face isn't soft, it's covered in thousands and thousands of coarse hairs. She wants to pull back, but Spock won't let her, he wants to document it and see if it's worth anything. A little voice in the back of her head whispers, _is it safe to come out yet?_ And she wants to answer 'yes', but she remembers that that's a bad word and instead says 'no', so the voice retreats. Part of her longs to release the sad, scared little girl that's trapped behind those bars at the back of her mind, but she's not sure it's safe yet.

"You're safe, Rose."

Rose. She tries to make her face smile, but she's not sure if it works. That's her name, but then she remembers someone say that a 'Rose by any other name would smell as sweet' and thinks it might be right. 24. _It's a bit long_, the girl in the back of her mind says sceptically and she nods. Rose is much nicer, her mother gave her that one.

Something's happening to him. He's changing before her eyes once more. There's a word for it, a word that she thought was another lie and she's scared, because she doesn't know what to believe anymore. She finally sees the device in his hands, the one that's shooting at her eyes and wants to recoil. The word 'trust' is all but lost and yet she feels it implicitly with him. So she stays and she watches as the greys become red and yellow and pink and green and…rainbows; she can see rainbows in his eyes, in his face, his skin, and everything around her, but his eyes hold so much more.

There's a spiders web between them and she lets it stick to her. It doesn't pull away the dirt or the sweat, but throws pictures at her, pictures and sounds that come from her dreams. The cage in the back of her mind seems useless to her as the spider gives her the key to the lock, but she's still afraid to use it, still afraid that if she lets Rose out no one will be able to protect her or put her back together again; like Humpty Dumpty – and he had all the King's horses and the King's men to fail him. But Rose has her Doctor…_she _has her Doctor.

An incoherent sound reaches her tender ears and, at first, she's not sure where it came from. Her Doctor didn't like the sound and neither did his companion, the tall man who stands behind him. She knows this face to and Rose smiles as she realises that the noise was hers. It was her noise. She was allowed to keep it and to make it again…or even make a different one. One that forms a word. Any word she chooses. More than one if she wants. And she does want to, Rose _wants_ to.

"My Doctor."

He smiles at her and she can't see him properly because of the salt water that's drowning her eyes. Salt and pain and relief. Tears. She remembers those well, because they were her constant companions when her teddy bears got stolen again and again.

"It's okay, Rose, I'm here."

Okay…is she okay? She doesn't think she is.

Everything around her has changed, but so much harder is the knowledge that everything within her has not only been changed but also destroyed. A mirror is seven years bad luck, she wonders what a mind is worth to those who break it. Surely more than seven years. Mirrors can be fixed with superglue, she remembers, but they're always cracked and you can never really find all the pieces. But the largest piece of her is standing in front of her. In all its glorious colour it shines from his eyes and looks into her soul, trying to put Humpty together again. He kept a part of her safe inside himself and protected it, but it doesn't really fit anymore. The spider's web held her together for so long, kept _them_ together for so long, but she's not sure it's enough, because the cracks are bigger than the pieces that are meant to fit into them and the sides won't slot together like a jigsaw, because pieces are misshaped and missing.

She's broken, but she knows she is and she figures that proves she's in a better state than she was even moments before. He's her anchor.

"Rose, please say something."

"The effects of the device are instantaneous, but it cannot mend her mind."

The voice she remembers. It was kind when others were distant. It was the last time she saw red.

"Y'Lana," she whispers and her voice complies. It's an odd sound; hearing your voice after so long in a world of silent thoughts. It's different than she remembers, harsher, lower, scratchier, but it's _hers_.

"Your Doctor came," the older woman says and Rose can tell she's crying, "Just as you said he would."

"Broken," Rose replies and she knows that Y'Lana will know what she means. She knows because someone has to. Someone has to have been here before, someone has to have made it back, someone…before.

That's when Rose sees her.

She's smaller than Rose remembers, smaller but just as haunted. The girl's brown eyes lock with hers, but they're not asking forgiveness and Rose is glad, because she's not sure she could give it. Forgiveness wasn't what the girl was searching for in Rose, just as the need for it isn't what Rose is looking for within her. Rose wants something to hold onto…she wants _hope_. Of all the words the TARDIS threw at her 'hope' is the one she remembers the least and yet it's the one she wants the most. Hope to dream of something better. Hope to want for something more than a life of silent, sensation-less darkness. Hope that she can be whole again. But the girl isn't okay, isn't whole, the girl broke just as Rose did and she's still not whole…but she is determined.

_Determination…_ Rose thinks, _I can live with that…I have to, because he needs me and I owe it to him, because he was all that I had to keep me going._

But a small part of her still isn't sure. It isn't sure that this is all real, because she had a fake Doctor before, one that existed only in the fragmented patterns of her broken mind and she needs to know…she needs to truly believe that he isn't going to fade into nothingness again. So she finds the path that can break her or start binding her together again.

"Where to today then?" she asks, softly, clamouring towards the hope she desperately needs.

"Anywhere you want, Rose," he replies, echoing a conversation that only ever ended in sadness before. But she has to play it out.

"Anywhere?"

He nods. "Anywhere in time or space."

"Then I'd like to go home."

She waits for it, watches for the expression to fall and him to disappear.

But he doesn't.

He nods.

He smiles and it's _her_ smile, the one he only ever gives to her. Her gift. So she smiles back.

"Let's get you home, Rose," he says softly and she feels a sensation on her cheeks, wet, salty tears, but she doesn't care because this time she can feel every point in their journey, just as she can feel his hand tightening around hers. He helps her to her feet and she can't bear to look down because she's not ready to see the broken shell of her body, wrapped only in the leather jacket that's surrounding her in the sweet smell and safety of _her _Doctor.

She doesn't look around as they leave. Doesn't see Y'Lana watching her as she fades into the distance. Doesn't see the destruction the Doctor left behind him. Doesn't see Kit as she slips away from the group. Doesn't see that every ounce of concentration and worry and will within the Doctor and Jack are focussed entirely on her. But she doesn't care because she _can see_. And smell. And taste. And touch. And gently, floating from the castle behind her, she can hear the gentle song of a broken child as she rocks back and forth watching as the broken body of her father is taken away…

"_Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?_

_The big bad wolf, the big bad wolf?_

_Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?_

Tra la la la la…"

And somewhere in the back of her broken, disjointed memories, she realises that no one on this planet should know it, because even she hasn't sung that song since she was a child. But as the TARDIS comes into view…as home beckons her, the thought scatters in the wind.

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**End of Part Fourteen**

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All typos and spelling mistakes are mine, this wasn't betad (none of this fic has been), this chapter was only read by others for comment on the content.

To be honest, I'm not sure what I think of this chapter, but I think I liked it. Either way, feel free to give me your opinions; feedback makes my day.

One chapter and an epilogue to go. I think I'll be sad to see this fic end.


	16. Beyond the Sea

As I sit here squee-ing and babbling incoherently at a pitch only dogs can here, I feel the need to reiterate just how much I love you all for your reviews. Seriously, my flatmate finds me amusing to an extend that would probably worry me if I gave my sanity, or lack thereof, a second thought. You lot rock so much I'm surprised the world isn't listing from side to side under the pressure. g

And so, despite the knowledge that I'm a terrible person for having such crap luck with computers and the internet, I can pretend that I haven't left you all waiting a ridiculously long time for the conclusion to this tale. I'm good like that!

As you may have guessed from the 'Bad Wolf' reference in the previous chapter, I'm veering the fic towards timeline because I know exactly how I'm ending the epilogue and this makes it so much more amusing…to me, at least!

Once again, thank you so much, many of you rendered me speechless, many of you had me giggling like a high school cheerleader on speed, and many of you had me doing the afore mentioned squee-ing/babbling incoherently combo.

Enjoy, for it is the end of the line…whimper I'm gonna miss this one.

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**Part Fifteen: Beyond the Sea**

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In the distance there are bells ringing, a lulling sound swinging with the gusty wind. Bells act as both warning and rejoicing, but the Doctor's not sure what sign they're giving him now, no matter how hard he listens for it. And he is listening. He's listening to everything in the vain hope that he'll actually hear something, because it doesn't seem to matter that he listens to every sound; nothing sounds like _her_ anymore.

She's standing at the corner of the earth, that final jutting of the land that stares into the choppy abyss of the ocean and he wonders if her ship will make it safely to port. She's with him almost constantly; she talks, she listens, she tries to put herself back together, but she's so rarely _there_. He can barely look at her sometimes, because she's not whole and he can't be the one to fix her, no matter how much he wants to be.

Jack stands barely three feet behind her, but the Doctor knows he longs to close that gap, knows because he himself is driven by that same impulse. He wants to hold her in his arms and protect her; he wants to ward off everything and anything that might ever so much as think of harming her. But what scares him the most is the fact that he knows she'd let him. Rose without her will, without her independence, isn't truly his Rose. He wonders if she ever will be again.

Her reunion with Jackie had been both a blessing and a curse. To be surrounded by the life that had shaped her, that had made her who she was, had brought back a small part of her, but Jackie's need to protect her little girl had stalled off all of Rose's will to survive for herself. She had curled up in a ball and let others protect her instead of fighting to retain who she was.

He sighs as the clouds above grow greyer and the wind gains some more strength, bringing the last of the ships into harbour. He takes a small step towards her, barely closing the gap, but it's enough for him, and for her it seems. His presence is something she needs now and he's more than willing to oblige, he'd do anything to see a spark inside those eyes again.

"I knew you'd come for me, you know," she says, so softly that it takes him a moment to realise that it's not just the wind and his imagination that are speaking to him.

"'Course I did."

"Took you long enough."

Startled, he turns to her, needing to see if she's teasing him. It sounds like she is, but it's a tone he hasn't heard from her in so long that he isn't sure. He still blames himself, so the idea that she might blame him also is something that's tortured him since the day he regained his memories of her. It almost hurts to think of her joking about it, but it's so much worse to think that she might be serious.

A single glance at her face isn't enough to convince him either way, so he takes the safe route; the easier one. "Lost a stray along the way," he says, inclining his head towards Jack.

"What can I say, I'm very miss-able," Jack intones. "Not to mention my many other loveable qualities."

She smiles at their companion before turning back to the ocean. "I won't be the same," she says after a moment. She's been so reluctant to talk of her experience that he remains silent, hoping that this might be what she needs. "He took everything from me. A little bit at a time. He wanted to break me." She turns to him. "I think he might have done."

She shakes her head when he makes to speak to her, so he closes his mouth. They both know Jack's still listening, but that's they way it works with them; they're a team, they're companions, but more than that they're part of each other.

"I'm not sure I'll ever be me again. I can pretend. I want to pretend sometimes."

"If you pretend, Rosie, you'll never heal."

She turns to Jack and smiles softly at his proffered pearl of wisdom. She doesn't speak, but she doesn't have to. Slowly, she turns back to face the ocean, but his gaze remains fixed on her. He can see something in her that he hasn't seen in a long time; determination. He smiles.

"I can still hear her," Rose says, "The TARDIS. I can hear her a lot more than before." He nods, waiting for her to continue. He does a lot of waiting now, but he's not sure he's any better at it than he ever was, even knowing that he'd wait forever for her. "She held me together. All of you did, but she spun a web to keep you with me. I couldn't have survived without you, you know. It didn't matter that you weren't real, you were mine and you kept me together longer than I should have been able to."

"I lost you in the first place." He speaks softly, not able to look at her as he admits his guilt. A moment later he feels the warmth of her hand, slipping into his.

"You'll never leave me. I figured that much out before I started seeing things."

Jack chuckles and the Doctor frowns as they share a smile. This isn't something he can joke about, not yet. It's still too raw, still too horrifying to think of lightly. He remembers what she looked like the first time he saw her again, curled up in the back of her cell, naked and shivering and so broken that he barely recognised her at all.

"I'll never be the same. Not really," she continues and he turns away then. The seagulls continue to screech around them as he tries not to mourn for the part of her that's forever lost. The part that he couldn't save. Because he wasn't quick enough. He lost her. He let them take her.

He takes another long look at her. If he looks hard enough he can still see her in there, struggling to get out. Rose is a fighter and he knows she'll battle long and hard before giving in to this.

"I remember everything from before. It was so much better then and I want that again. I want my Doctor and my Jack," she says, smiling at each of them in turn. "I want you to be the same with me, the same as you always were and I don't want you to keep trying to protect me from everything. I had enough of that with me mum."

Jack chuckles and even the Doctor can't help smiling. "Didn't think she'd miss Kit quite so much," the Doctor says, instantly regretting it. The disappearance of his companion was still a sore point for him. For Jack also. As happy as they both were that Kit and Rose didn't have to deal with each other, they both retained the memory of the young girl covered in her own blood, the haunted look in her eyes as the memories returned and neither wanted to dwell on what might have happened to her since.

On returning to the TARDIS it had taken longer than it should have to realise that she was gone. Jack had wanted to return, to search until they found her, but the Doctor had known it was pointless. Even if they had gone back, they would not have found her. Besides, the TARDIS wouldn't allow it. He knew Jack had tried, thinking to go when the Doctor and Rose slept, hoping to do it at as little inconvenience as possible, but no matter how hard he tried, the TARDIS wouldn't move. The Doctor was willing to concede that she knew Kit better than either he or his companion, but he still felt as though he had failed the young woman.

"You miss her," Rose says softly, bringing them all back to the present.

He nods and squeezes her hand. "But she wasn't you."

Rose smiles. "No, she was herself and you still miss her. You both do." When they don't reply, she laughs. "It's all right, you know."

"Kit was only ever meant to lead us back to you. I think she knew that or she would've left me a lot sooner. She wasn't ready for all this," the Doctor says and Rose shakes her head.

"I'm not so sure."

"Could you have got along with her?" he asks, already knowing the answer.

"If we'd met down the pub, yeah, I think we'd've got on great. But the way it happened…no. That's why she left, isn't it?"

"Maybe," the Doctor says, not wanting to lie to her. "She knew you were important to us."

"And she needed to heal," Jack says and they both have to wonder if he's still finding it hard to make himself believe that.

"She did, you know." Rose reaches out her free hand and Jack takes it, moving to stand beside them. "Y'Lana told me about her. She lasted longer than I did, didn't have anything left when she finally snapped. Sound was the last thing they took from her."

"You would have survived," Jack says confidently, but the Doctor doesn't say anything. He saw her when they found her, lost and broken and he's not so sure she could have lasted much longer. He doesn't understand how anyone could have. But she's here, she's with him. He tightens his grip on her hand and sees her smile a little, before squeezing back.

"So," she says cheekily, "unless your memory's getting worse in your old age, I seem to remember we had a lot more fun than this stodgy old harbour. Isn't time and space waiting for us?"

The Doctor grins; this is something he's good at, adventure is something he can handle, because this way he doesn't have to stop and think about what he might lose – he's too busy fighting to keep it.

"Time and space, eh?" Jack says with a smirk. "And to think most women prefer diamonds and flowers."

"Where to?" the Doctor asks.

"Anywhere," she replies, her eyes lighting up with excitement. He's missed that look in her eyes. The haunted soul still lurks behind it, but it's there and it's real and, for the moment that's enough. "I can pretend," she continues, "I want to pretend. I want things to be normal again. Well," she smiles at him cheekily, "as normal as they can be with you two."

"Just for that I should take you to watch the Fiftieth Sludge Throwing Contest on Axabaar. Quite a crowd pleaser, that one."

"I said normal!"

"Hey, for the Doc, that is normal," Jack says with a wink.

"Normal." The Doctor smiles. "I can work on that."

She laughs and he cherishes the sound. He exchanges a glance with Jack and knows the other man feels the same way. It's a sound they haven't heard in so long, except in dreams and, for the Doctor, they're more torture than anything else; a taunting reminder of what used to be, but never will be again. Hearing her laugh, watching her smile at him in that moment, however, he can hope.

Tugging on her hand, the three of them make their way back to the TARDIS, back towards whatever adventure the universe throws at them. Things aren't perfect, but he's wise enough to know not to wish for perfect, because without everything else, without the difficulties he knows he wouldn't appreciate the little things so much. And at this moment, he wouldn't wish for anything more than her smile.

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**The End**

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Yes, peeps, that's the end. I have a small epilogue to wrap up the one loose end I have and I refuse to leave this one unfinished! I can't apologise more for the horrendous wait you've had for this final chapter, but what's done is done and I can only hope you like it.

This is, without doubt, my favourite (and likely my _best_) fic to date and your reviews have meant the world to me. I love you all. Thank you so much.

Kyizi  
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	17. Epilogue I: A Time to Belong

That's right, you're getting a two for one deal seeing as these are shorter and I took so long to get them to you!

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**Epilogue: A Time To Belong**

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It had seemed like such a good idea at the time, really. She had planned to be in and out in next to no time at all. The job was simple. All she had to do was pretend to be a lady for long enough to get past security and it was in the bag. No one would even think to question a lady of wealth if she were to leave someplace wearing different jewellery than she had arrived with; the rich love to make a show of their wealth. Simple. Easy. Elegant, one might even say. However, throw in a few _niceties_ of a _polished_ society and Kit was out of her depth. She should have seen it coming, really.

"Something cheap and nasty,"Kit yells at the barman, "and make it a double."

The run down bar isn't exactly a place she would normally wish to be found, but then she doesn't want to be found at all, really, so it matters very little to her at the moment. It's times like this that she regrets her decision to leave the Doctor, even Jack sometimes – which only goes to show that she isn't in the best state of mind. Two years doesn't seem like long, but the road has been difficult and she isn't exactly doing well for herself. She had spent the first year trying to find herself again, picking through the remnants of her memories and trying to see what was real and what was merely the lies she had been so willingly fed. She had healed, well, as much as she supposes she ever will, but she isn't in the best line of work and she has no time machine to escape on. Instead she's in a musty old bar on a backwater planet. The air's smoky, the seats are sticky (she refuses to even going to think about it), and the smell is worse. It isn't hard, therefore, to spot the man that's rather out of place amongst the throngs of dirty old men.

In the far corner of the bar, watching her with a gaze that's too penetrating by far, is humanoid male in his mid thirties. He's openly staring at her and the glare she sends his way doesn't seem to do much. Instead he stands and begins to walk towards her.

He isn't conventionally good looking, not even in the slightest, but there's something handsome about him all the same. There's also something…familiar about him, something she can't quite put her finger on. He's tall, about six foot four, wearing tight blue jeans and a navy pinstripe suit jacket, his messy blond hair and black rimmed glasses finishing the job nicely. No, she definitely wouldn't kick _him_ out of bed.

Rather than ignore him, she watches closely until he's standing next to her. They continue to stare at each other for a moment, neither willing to be the loser. And then he grins, almost manically. Her eyes widen and she shakes her head in disbelief. She knows about regeneration, but everything should have changed. Instead, she can still see him, lurking behind the baby blue eyes in front of her. Mischief. With a capital 'M'.

"Doctor?" she asks, her mouth slowly breaking into a smile that her brain prays isn't premature. He nods and she stands, almost craning her neck to look him in the eyes. "What the hell happened to you?"

He laughs and it has more music to it than before, she doesn't think it's possible for him to have more life than his ninth incarnation, but it's the same kind of energy, just a different spirit. He leans against the bar, lowering himself so that she can look at him easier.

"Well?" she prompts and he smirks at her.

"I died. Again."

"So, you're…what? Number ten?"

He shakes his head. "Eleven," he says grinning. "Ten would've been dead within a week living with you."

"I'm not sure if that's a compliment for me and a dig at your previous self or the other way about. I choose to believe the former." He just continues to smile at her and she laughs. It's the first time she's felt happy in a long time.

"What are you doing here?" she asks.

"I'm a bit later than you asked," he says, the strange lilt in his voice sounding almost Scottish. "But then I was meant to be or you wouldn't have been here."

"I asked you to come?"

"You will."

She shrugs. "Okay."

Laughing, the Doctor indicates the door. "Well, you coming?"

"You've got room for me on board with all yours and Rose's kids running about?" she asks with a smirk.

"What do you think?" He rolls his eyes and starts walking towards the door. She follows on and, just as they're leaving the bar, he continues, "They're all back on earth."

She stops and looks at him questioningly, but he hasn't turned round, so she scurries to catch up. "Never really saw the old you as the domestic kind." He's just looking at her with amusement and she's still not sure if he's serious or not.

They walk quickly through the streets and she slips her hand into the crook of his arm. It seems both familiar and unfamiliar to be with him again. He's very much a different person, but she feels drawn to him all the same. His energy, his life spirit (as her grandmother would have said, in what seems like a different lifetime from this), is the same.

Before long they're standing before a familiar blue box and she grins, reaching her hand and placing it gently against the door. She feels a familiar thrum vibrate almost imperceptibly at the contact and takes a deep breath.

"I've missed you," she says softly and she almost thinks she hears a similar sentiment in return. "Come on then," she says to the familiar stranger at her side. "We've got adventures to be having."

"We've got a stop to make along the way first," he says, opening the door and leading the way into the TARDIS. "Left Jack on a space station a while back, think he might be a bit upset by now."

She stops and glares at him. "Very funny." He doesn't say anything, just smirks. "Doctor, Jack is annoying and that is not funny." She enters and closes the door as he begins moving the controls. "Doctor." Still there's no reply.

The TARDIS shudders and he winks at her. "Hold on."

She grins momentarily as the familiar sounds surround her and takes a deep breath. "It' good to be back."

"It's good to have you back."

"And you're kidding about Jack, right? Right? Doctor!"

The TARDIS lands abruptly and he moves past her, opening the door. He turns to her, still not answering her question and inclines his head.

"Coming?" he asks, holding out his arm and she takes it, still glaring at him. Something tells her that her life definitely isn't going to be dull.

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**End Epilogue**

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Well, this time that really is it. I wanted to wrap up Kit's story and I really did think she made a good companion for the Doctor, just perhaps not our lovely number nine.

Hope you enjoyed the ride and here's a big thank you to everyone who reviewed and to Mental Midget for reading them through and okaying them for posting!


	18. Epilogue II: White Christmas

Okay, this is just a little Christmas epilogue for Forgotten Roses. I know a lot of you wanted to know why I didn't give you a shippy ending and, well, mainly it was because I thought it was too much after the content of the story, but also, because I thought the show did it better than I could have. For this type of story, for the way my plot wound down and the trauma Rose experienced I didn't feel it was the right time to have anything happen. Instead, I led the fic back to storyline, so that you got your moment as it was in the final episode.

However, I decided, because it's Christmas, to write a short epilogue with the Doctor and Rose. I hope it satisfies!

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**Epilogue: White Christmas**

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_Crunch._

_Crunch._

_Crunch._

Her face lights up with delight and he can't help but smile at her.

_Crunch._

_Crunch._

The world around them is blanketed in the first snow and their breath is forming in a mist before them. There's nothing in the universe quite like taking your first steps through a newly formed, crisp blanket of snow and the fact that it's bringing the smile back to Rose's face makes it all the more amazing to him. Recuperation, no matter if it's the mothering Jackie bestowed on her or the thrill of the new adventures he and Jack have whisked her off on since, is slowly doing the trick. Every now and again he sees her, sees the woman he knows and loves looking back at him through her eyes. Every moment he sees it makes everything worth while.

"Oi!" He blinks a few times and shakes his head to loosen the packed in snow that just hit him. He looks at her with a mock glare as he takes in the mischief in her eyes. "If it's war you want, Rose, it's war you'll get." Without giving her a moment to react, he has already packed a snowball and sent it hurtling in her direction, but at the last minute she ducks and it hits Jack hard on the chest.

Jack cocks an eyebrow at the Doctor and a moment later it's everyone for themselves. The air is filled with laughter, shouting, and snow and the Doctor's glad it's only them on this planet. It's far too soon for life to have properly formed, but it's just what _he_ wanted for Christmas, just the three of them and Rose smiling again. The only problem, he muses (for just a little too long, allowing Jack to stuff the back of his jumper with snow), is that he has no idea what Rose wants. Jack was easy; _Jack always is,_ he thinks with a smirk, pelting the other man with a snowball. But Rose? The old Rose he might have just picked up a pretty trinket and made up some story about where it came from; she always got a kick out of that, but the new Rose? Well, what do you give to a woman who almost lost her entire life, was almost driven insane by torture? He doesn't know, that's for sure.

"Okay, truce, truce!"

"Never thought I'd see the day when Captain Jack gave up!" Rose shouts at the man, before throwing more snow in his direction.

"Hey! I said truce!" Jack ducks behind a tree and makes a beeline for the TARDIS. "If you want a decent Christmas meal, you better leave me alone!"

"Excuses, excuses!" Rose laughs. "Alright, but it better be good!"

"The best." Jack gives her a wink and slips into the TARDIS, closing over the door behind him.

A snowball takes the Doctor by surprise, again. Rose just laughs and he retaliates by running after her, tackling her, and covering her in snow.

"Get off!" She's laughing and squirming beneath him, but he continues to tickle her and stuff snow down the collar of her jacket.

"Do you surrender?"

"Never!"

"Okay." The Doctor just grins and doesn't stop until she kicks his knees out from under him. He falls on top of her with a whoosh of air and she grunts.

"Okay, that worked much better in my head," she says with a groan. "Get off, you're heavy."

"Your own fault," he says lightly and rolls off to lie at her side. "What _are_ you doing?" he asks a moment later, watching her arms and legs move up and down.

"Don't tell me you've never made a snow angel!" He shakes his head and she looks at him disapprovingly. "It's easy. Move over so you've got enough room to spread your arms and legs out flat, then move them up and down."

He follows her instructions a little warily. "I feel like an idiot."

"You look like one, too."

"Cheeky."

She grins and stands up. "Give me your hand and don't even think about pullin' me down with you, all right?"

"Would I?"

"Yes!"

"Only because you would, too," he grumbles, allowing her to help him up. Not that he needed it, but he certainly wasn't going to refuse.

"Now look," she says, pulling back from the shapes they've made in the snow. "Snow angels." She's smiling at the snow, but he's smiling at her. It takes her a moment to realise that she's under scrutiny, but when she does the shy smile and the faint blush on her cheeks make him chuckle slightly. He reaches out to flick some stray snow out of her hair and she turns her head, causing his hand to brush the top of her cheek. She doesn't pull away and his hand lingers.

"You didn't give me a Christmas present yet," she says softly. "I got you something." He nods as her fingers reach up to fix the top of his polo neck. "Green suits you."

"I didn't know what to get you," he says, feeling terrible about it. He doesn't want to lie to her, not after what she's been through, but he should _know_, he should be able to think of something.

"You don't need to get me anything. You've given me the universe. I know that sounds like one of those dodgy valentines card, but it's true."

He smiles softly and she grins at him. "I think you're finally coming back to me, Rose."

"Never really left you; you're my Doctor."

He nods and leans towards her, gently brushing his lips against hers. Her breath catches a moment and he tries not to think about the way it makes him feel. For now this is enough. She's in his arms and she's nearly whole again and that's enough.

He pulls away and grins, reaching into his pocket with one hand and pulling her closer with the other. "I did get you something, actually."

He hands her the small box and she eyes him warily. "It's not gonna bite me or something is it?"

"No, well, maybe a little nibble."

She laughs and opens the box, pulling out the chorded necklace. She turns the stone attached to it around in her hands. "What is it?"

"Ever seen Men in Black?"

She frowns. "The movie with Will Smith? Yeah, I've seen it."

"Well, I just gave you the universe. Three of them actually."

He grins impishly and grabs her hand, pulling her towards the TARDIS. "Come on, Jack should have dinner ready by now."

She's utterly bewildered. "You're not serious, right?"

He just smiles at her and pulls her next to him. "Do you care."

"Not really."

"I didn't think so."

"Thank you," she says and he stops walking and turns to her. "For everything. For taking me with you, for showing me the universe…and for coming after me, even though they made you forget."

"Not gonna get rid of me that easily, Rose Tyler," he says.

"Good, 'cause you're stuck with me, an' all."

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**THE END**

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And I really mean 'the end', this time! Hope you liked it.


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